u/Degrassilover03

This morning I had one of the weirdest dreams I’ve ever had and I usually do tend to have weird sexual dreams may not always be involving me but other people and for some reason I had a dream about other 2 people wanting to engage in somnophilia and I don’t know what that means because that’s not something that I am into or something that I’d want to do. I have an history of SA, and this dream freaked me out so much that I started having an anxiety attack because I got paranoid of what if this is happening to me in real life even though I woke up fully clothed and with my door locked.

I tried searching up if anyone else has had these kind of dreams but I couldn’t find anything so if anyone knows what these type of dreams mean please let me know or if I should be concerned about them?

Thank you.

I’ve dealt with ocd for the longest time and I’ve done other types of therapy CBT, DBT, ACT but the main treatment I’ve been needing was ERP and for over the past year.I’ve had issues accessing it due to it being extremely expensive or my insurance not being able to cover me but a few months ago I was able to get my school bursary to cover me and I did find a new OCD therapist that does do ERP, and I’ve been seeing her for 4 months now but just today she decided that it would be better for me to see someone because apparently she doesn’t specialize in suicidal thoughts/ideation even though that’s literally what it said on her profile under specialities!

According to her she thinks I have another disorder that’s comorbiding with my ocd, and she said that can’t help me with my suicidal thoughts/ideation.

I was very upset when she told me that I have to switch because I’m only a student and trying to find and afford an ERP therapists has been very difficult for me because of insurance/coverage issues I’ve had in the past, and I honestly want to give up on trying to find another therapist because every time I do they had end up leaving.

I’m also 100% sure that I’ll be dead before the age of 25 because I’ve been dealing with severe ocd since I was 14, (23 now) but I can’t seem to find anyone to help me or get anyone to cover me so I pretty much give up.I’m just tired of living with this disorder when no one wants to help.

I’ve dealt with ocd for the longest time and I’ve done other types of therapy Cbt, DBT, ACT but the main treatment I’ve been needing was ERP and for over the past year.

I’ve had issues accessing it due to it being extremely expensive or my insurance not being able to cover me but a few months ago I was able to get my school bursary to cover me and I did find a new OCD therapist that does do ERP, and I’ve been seeing her for 4 months now but just today she decided that it would be better for me to see someone because apparently she doesn’t specialize in suicidal thoughts/ideation even though that’s literally what it said on her profile under specialities!

According to her she thinks I have possible signs of Bpd or something else because she hasn’t came across anyone with my form of ocd and she can’t help me with my suicidal tendencies.

I was very upset when she told me that I have to switch because I’m only a student and trying to find and afford an ERP therapists has been very difficult for me because of insurance/coverage issues and i honestly want to give up on trying to find another therapist because every time I do they had end up leaving. I literally only have 1 friend that gets me and none of my other friends understand now mental illness let alone ocd works so I pretty feel all alone in this. I’m also 100% sure that I’ll be dead before the age of 25 because I’ve been dealing with severe ocd since I was 14, (23 now) but I can’t seem to find anyone to help me or I just can’t afford it, so I pretty much give up.

I’m tired of living with this disorder and I don’t know if I can anymore since I can’t get help for it.