u/Defiant_Apple_8885

My younger brother has always been my biggest bully. We got along for the most part, but ever since he met his wife, we’ve gotten distant. I was unable to attend his wedding due to going through a divorce. Our mother yelled at me that I inserted my brother into my wedding and I told her that doesn’t make me want to attend his wedding any more. He said he understood, but I feel he’s held resentment. Regardless, I divorced, no one supported me, I did everything on my own. Fast forward to 2022, our dad fell and passed away. A few days before that, I had posted a picture on facebook of my dad and I while he was in the hospital. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t appropriate to post. My brother sent a long text about how he never wanted to hear from me again and I had a blatant disregard for our family’s privacy, and basically I was a horrible person. He included his wife in on this message, I had never met her, so no opinion. In October of that year, he and his wife move in with our mother and she changed her will, making him executor and durable POA. I live across the country so I didn’t say anything. He threw our mother an 80th birthday party, didn’t invite me. No problem. His choice and boundaries. Last year I get a call that our mom was in the hospital and had strokes. We were getting along again. All of a sudden, he decided he needed to move mom in with him and his wife. I hear nothing. Until April. Then a very rude text ordering me to get my possessions out of my moms house so they could sell it. When I confronted him, I probably should’ve just left it, he said I was allowed to feel my feelings and he wasn’t having any conversation with me. Then asked if I got my things out of moms house, I said yes, he said good-we’re done here. I said let me know when you’re ready to have an adult conversation. His wife chimed in and yelled at me about a recent Facebook post I made saying goodbye to the house. Again, no relationship with her whatsoever. He has bipolar disorder and goes through these waves of controlling behavior. At this point I’m not fighting anything, I just want mom cared for and safe. I feel like it’s everything and everyone against me. I’m not sure what I did wrong, but whatever it is, I can’t fix it.

My younger brother is durable POA for our elderly mom. He is bipolar, married and no children. He lives one state away from mom, I live across the country. I’ve tried to help out and have received zero communication from him. He and his wife decided to move mom in with them last year after she’d been in assisted living for eight months. I said it was a bad idea since she needed 24 hour care. But they did it anyway. I attempted to talk to him several times but didn’t hear anything until January, then once in March. In April I received a text that mom would be on respite in the same facility as before for a month, he waited a week to tell me. He ordered me to get my things out of mom’s unoccupied house so he and his wife (not me) could get moms house ready to sell. I attempted to speak with him but got no where. I told him to let me know when he was ready for an adult conversation. His wife, whom I have no relationship with, then spouted off some nonsense about a facebook post I’d made about saying goodbye to mom’s house. I didn’t respond. Since then I’ve found out that they were leaving mom in the assisted living facility and moving her to a different room. The facility refuses to talk to me and so does my brother. I’ve contacted authorities and everyone says get a lawyer which I can’t afford. I just want what’s best for mom, not whatever hot garbage this has become.