So to start we have been in a relationship for about 10 months now and it has been going good for the most part except the occasional serious talks about boundaries and stuff like that. Not big fights or anything and our sex life was going very well the first 4 months until she demanded that I go down on her for 20+ minutes both as foreplay and after so in total 40 minutes minimum. We have sex for at least 1h when we do have it but I simply don't want do have sex anymore since she won't do the bare minimum of touching me. I usually come up with the excuse of being tired or not it the mood but she has been asking me if there is something wrong with her and if I even love her anymore.
I have communicated to her that I do need her to at least touch me when I do it or else I lose interest and get turned off and lose my erection, I have to say that I do love going down on her and she has told me she absolutely loves it and if it were up to her she would let me do it for a lot longer. But she absolutely refuses to do anything to at least make me feel good when I go down on her.
But yes we do both shower before having sex cause of her issues with that in the past so I highly doubt it's cause I'm not clean.
I have no idea what to do, she already is seeing a therapist for other stuff relating to her mental health. I kinda hate sitting down with her and talking about our sex life as she gets upset very quickly. So any suggestions on what I can do?