u/Def_not_Em

I’m not asking if I’m the AH, Reddit wouldn’t let me put it in an advice sub Reddit. I’m asking for advice on if I should send a text to my ex best friends mom that might ruin my chances of seeing her family again.

To start off me and my friend have been friends since middle school . An entire situation started because she was telling everybody around her that I was mad at her and that I was being “off” but refused to tell me why, didn’t tell me why she brought other people into it, and didn’t tell me why she was telling people the wrong version of what happened. I’m not going to get too into it but I have another post more detailed abt it.

I have kept in contact with her mom and sister, I blocked her, her mom has texted me periodically for holidays or my birthday and I have never let my displeasure of her daughter effect how i treated her.

Fast forward over a month and it’s Mother’s Day so I text her happy Mother’s Day because I missed her, I probably shouldn’t have but her family helped me through the hardest times in my life, she replies saying how she’s sad that, and I quote “you decided not to work things out”. 54/F btw. Her daughter told her the wrong story or barely any of it because I have tried to work things out with her several times and she avoided each confrontation and expected me to forget it. I have such an urge to text her mom something like “she told you I didn’t try to work things out?” Idk.

Whatever my ex friend told her family obviously they think I’m in the wrong, a dozen or so people r on my side.So if I text her mom clearing my name it will either make her mom even more mad at me, or it will make her mom talk to her daughter about it and her daughter will be mad at me. Either way I don’t see how I could ever resolve things with them if I do text her, but if I don’t I know she’s just gonna believe I ruined her daughters life (I’ve heard a few things that my ex friend said about me and she makes me out to be this manipulative toxic friend that didn’t even like her) none of which is true btw but she’s said some insane stuff to people abt me when I moved on from this

My question is should I text her mom something so she knows im not entirely at fault or should I let her family believe I could be that malicious

To start this off I am really emotionally and socially aware to other peoples actions and why they do them in situations so I’d like to believe I’m right that my friend is copying or at least envious of me but I don’t want to assume.

it’s also required to state ages but neither of us are adults so I’m just gonna say I 19/F and my friend 20/F. first off she has a need to always be right or the smarter one in the situation, this will make sense soon trust me, and she always states things and waits to see if I know what she’s talking about and if I talk abt something she doesn’t know she looks it up and pretends to know it. She also makes all her close friends feel dumb for not knowing something even if it’s not common knowledge. I believe she does this because she wants to seem “better” or “smarter” than those she’s envious of or deems as the better person.

Second whenever I talk abt something I like she almost always gets into it, even if I don’t actively want her to. It’s not that I don’t want to share another interest but when she does get into a show I like she won’t send me videos of it, won’t talk about important events or things involving it, and will gatekeep knowledge about it unless I talk about it first or send it to her first and she says “oh I already knew that” or “I already saw that”. It’s like she wants to like my interest more than me. Some recent examples involve anime or shows I’ve put her on, and when I talk to her about how I’d like her to send me things (especially if they’re of my favorite character or something she knows I’d like) she says she “forgets” to, and id see a video on my page about a character I love and she hates and she’d repost it before me.

To make reading less stressful I’m making more paragraphs. A recent thing that happened was today when we were talking about redbull and this is how it went. Me “yknow how redbull has taurine right”. Her “yeah obviously did you not know that” take in mind she said it really rudely. Me “obviously I know that I literally just talked about it, anyway” and we were talking about the new flavor. Then later that day I was talking about this game I loved that’s kinda expensive and she said she doesn’t have money for it but after seeing I spent a long time on the game she told me she’s trying to convince her mom to buy it. A while after that she said “I wanna put glitter on my face” because I made a video with glitter on my face a few weeks ago and told her to do it w me when I made it and she didnt. I asked why and she said it’s because when I did it looked fun.

Final paragraph, thank you if you’re still here. Be completely honest, do you think she has a superiority complex, is she envious of me, is she copying everything I do and trying to do it “better” or am I hyper aware of every small thing. All this stuff happens often and if anybody comments they believe it’s one of these options I’ll see how I can change this in the future. In regards to the title, I have been more cautious of telling her things I want to share or telling her about things I like because she’ll always try to know or like them first. I say anything “I found out today-“ “you didn’t already know that?”. I feel like I’m keeping a piece of my personality away from her and I want to know if it’s reasonable and she is being weird or if I should just accept it as something else.