TLDR; it’s a long distance relationship, we are not really in a relationship but she keeps me close and shows interest and whenever i try to do something serious with her she kinda friend zones me.
I met this girl on social media and we’re from different countries, we talked for a few days getting to know each other, after 5 days i decided i really like this girl and she was showing interest so i asked her to be my gf, she was hesitant and unsure at first because she’s never been in a relationship before (me too) and she’s scared she may not be good at it, i convinced her eventually and she said yes, literally the next day she texted me saying that she regretted her decision and it was kind of a spontaneous decision from both of us not realizing the weight of the situation and if this was irl it would’ve been different, also we see different futures for ourselves i want a family while she never imagined herself with a partner she just dreams of living in her dream country, having a job there and living with a parrot, the day before she was very happy about everything, but she woke up the next day anxious about the situation, that kinda hurt me and both of us really but i was very understanding, it was too quick i should have waited more we barely knew each other when i asked her to be my gf, so she wanted to end it, we stopped talking, and 4 days later she texts me saying she couldn’t just leave and she cares too much about me and she hopes that we can be very close friends or at least just friends, i couldn’t say no, so we stayed friends for a while with some flirting (usually from my side), two weeks later we started talking about our relationship i told her that i still see her as my gf she said she doesn’t see me in the same way but rather as someone very close, i asked her if i’m getting friend zoned, she said no thats not how she sees it and she doesn’t even mind pretending to be in a relationship but actually having something serious gives her anxiety, right now we’ve been talking for over a month, yesterday we talked about our relationship again i was trying to get her to define what we are ,are we really friends? One thing about her is she is kind of a weeb, does doesn’t like anime in general but she is very obsessed with one, and she is obsessed with a character from that anime, she is an artist and her accounts are filled with drawings of that character, and she created a character that supposed to represent her to be with him, she says she doesn’t really take that seriously and she doesn’t confuse reality with fiction and this character was just her safe place through some rough times, and being in a relationship makes her feel bad about what she does with her characters, throughout all of this i was very understanding and nice idk if i’m too nice, i asked her directly to define our relationship she said we’re in a romantic relationship but not wanting to have anything serious yet even though i never really saw anything romantic from her, i’m just really confused i don’t understand this girl, i do enjoy spending time with her but it feels heavy on me that i like her and it feels one sided.
I really wish there was a way to make this work, how can i figure things out with her and make our relationship clear?
(looking back at this i feel like i made her look kinda emotionless she is the opposite of that she is very nice and always very careful of hurting my feelings).