u/Deep_Underwater_Monk

Rule number 1 : The best move you can pull in the early days is make yourself CR , will have no problem approaching girls after that, and you will always have excuse to talk to them and won't be labelled creep

Rule number 2 : Be active and always faltter your teachers, Be the Greatest Chumcha of teacher ever , Sir aap ka knowledge, wah durya ko koozey me bund ker diya , Ilm e be panah ! , behr e be karan ! .Uff Sir kiya baat keh di aap ne , Tabahi ! .

Rule number 3 : "Every battle is won before its fought" Sun tzu Remember Adub and Feyz is more important than knowledge when it comes to passing the viva . Start going to Professor office for guidance a year before the viva . Just let him or her know your face that you exist.

Rule number 4 : Don't forget to get yourself in societies and events, be political and make connections

Rule number 5 : If you are event organiser, Always send girls to collect money , Abdullah never gonna give you money , must send Amna and not only he will give money but Dill bhi hatheli per rakh ke de ga , learned the hard way.

Rule number 6 : Remember jiss ne sub se pehley larki ya larkey ko approach ker liya he will have her or him and u will be regretting afterwards. Be first 🥇 mate And whenever you approach your crush must have valid excuse to talk to them like , Woh aap ke study notes chahiye thee etc , aap bhi usmle ki tyari ker rhi heen me bhi , even though you don't know the difference between mitral and bicuspid valve.

Rule number 7 : In early days keep your cards close to your chest , be formal in the beginning and don't be funny or act weird infront of girls . Always sit in front row and give answers to proffesors question, even if you are wrong must get attention form proffesors at all cost.

Rule number 8 : Don't start DM girls without any reason especially flirty ones , Girls take screenshots and pass around these screenshots having good laugh at your expense. Stay hydrated

Rule number 9 : 90 percent of mixed friends groups will be gone by the end of uni , Don't join mixed groups , stay with londa group or Saheli group.

Rule number 10 : Not everyone is gonna be your friend, don't trust your secrets to anyone especially during early days.

Rule number 11 : Never say me ne parh liya he , always say yaar parhai nhi ho rhi , people will think yeh flex mar rha he parhako na hu tu ......

Rule number 12 : Get yourself in library where you can study peacefully, make your habit to be in library all the time even if you are watching movies there , atleast some days u will study rather than sleeping in your Room.

Rule number 13 : Parhako logon se dosti buhut zarori , keep them close and lafangoon se door raho , Don't want to get entangled in their drama , Yaar bachi choor ke chali gayi ......

Rule number 14 : Group study boys ke sath nhi ho sakti , I once did group study with girls and they are so disciplined and studious that I achieved Muarfat in single night and learnt why they always top in medical clg , they make such beautiful timetables hour by hour I didn't knew that was a thing and their books are highlighted with different colours of highlighters and embroidery on book pages , Meanwhile boys ..... Once a boy proposed to this girl , she didn't gave a reply and gave his davidson medicine book back to the boy , signalling their relationship is over , three years later he was resident sitting in boys common room where he opened the book first time Infront of us for IMM and letter dropped by girl saying "Mujhe manzoor he " , Had to restrain that traumatized resident from jumping out the window. Moral " Kitab khool liya Karo Murdon "

Rule number 13 : Civic wala londa is a thing , get yourself a good car and Keep yourself well Groomed, Better be burger than Pendu , Speak English fluently wherever possible especially in Vivas and when teacher asks you questions, Fluent ENGLISH will elevate your reputation and make you an aristocrat.

Rule number 14 : Looks don't matter , There was a londa average looking in our UNI who knew how to speak and make funny puns , he was highly knowledgeable , great communication skills , With his knowledge he would get into every study group , Girls would flock to him and boys respected him as their Imam , Remember your mastery of subject opens doors that no other key can open. Study Hard as Knowledge is the real power. That londa was me duh !!

Rule number 15 : Always Remember 99 percent couple in University ka katey ga , no matter what and One percent will be those where londa actually had Usmle or Topper In Uni , rest will be Dust.....

Rule number 16 : Stay away from Gossip its a big time waste. Study something every day even for 2 hours .

If you have more rules gimme that as well

Rule number 1 : The best move you can pull in the early days is make yourself CR , will have no problem approaching girls after that, and you will always have excuse to talk to them and won't be labelled creep

Rule number 2 : Be active and always faltter your teachers, Be the Greatest Chumcha of teacher ever , Sir aap ka knowledge, wah durya ko koozey me bund ker diya , Ilm e be panah ! , behr e be karan ! .Uff Sir kiya baat keh di aap ne , Tabahi ! .

Rule number 3 : "Every battle is won before its fought" Sun tzu Remember Adub and Feyz is more important than knowledge when it comes to passing the viva . Start going to Professor office for guidance a year before the viva . Just let him or her know your face that you exist.

Rule number 4 : Don't forget to get yourself in societies and events, be political and make connections

Rule number 5 : If you are event organiser, Always send girls to collect money , Abdullah never gonna give you money , must send Amna and not only he will give money but Dill bhi hatheli per rakh ke de ga , learned the hard way.

Rule number 6 : Remember jiss ne sub se pehley larki ya larkey ko approach ker liya he will have her or him and u will be regretting afterwards. Be first 🥇 mate And whenever you approach your crush must have valid excuse to talk to them like , Woh aap ke study notes chahiye thee etc , aap bhi usmle ki tyari ker rhi heen me bhi , even though you don't know the difference between mitral and bicuspid valve.

Rule number 7 : In early days keep your cards close to your chest , be formal in the beginning and don't be funny or act weird infront of girls . Always sit in front row and give answers to proffesors question, even if you are wrong must get attention form proffesors at all cost.

Rule number 8 : Don't start DM girls without any reason especially flirty ones , Girls take screenshots and pass around these screenshots having good laugh at your expense. Stay hydrated

Rule number 9 : 90 percent of mixed friends groups will be gone by the end of uni , Don't join mixed groups , stay with londa group or Saheli group.

Rule number 10 : Not everyone is gonna be your friend, don't trust your secrets to anyone especially during early days.

Rule number 11 : Never say me ne parh liya he , always say yaar parhai nhi ho rhi , people will think yeh flex mar rha he parhako na hu tu ......

Rule number 12 : Get yourself in library where you can study peacefully, make your habit to be in library all the time even if you are watching movies there , atleast some days u will study rather than sleeping in your Room.

Rule number 13 : Parhako logon se dosti buhut zarori , keep them close and lafangoon se door raho , Don't want to get entangled in their drama , Yaar bachi choor ke chali gayi ......

Rule number 14 : Group study boys ke sath nhi ho sakti , I once did group study with girls and they are so disciplined and studious that I achieved Muarfat in single night and learnt why they always top in medical clg , they make such beautiful timetables hour by hour I didn't knew that was a thing and their books are highlighted with different colours of highlighters and embroidery on book pages , Meanwhile boys ..... Once a boy proposed to this girl , she didn't gave a reply and gave his davidson medicine book back to the boy , signalling their relationship is over , three years later he was resident sitting in boys common room where he opened the book first time Infront of us for IMM and letter dropped by girl saying "Mujhe manzoor he " , Had to restrain that traumatized resident from jumping out the window. Moral " Kitab khool liya Karo Murdon "

Rule number 13 : Civic wala londa is a thing , get yourself a good car and Keep yourself well Groomed, Better be burger than Pendu , Speak English fluently wherever possible especially in Vivas and when teacher asks you questions, Fluent ENGLISH will elevate your reputation and make you an aristocrat.

Rule number 14 : Looks don't matter , There was a londa average looking in our UNI who knew how to speak and make funny puns , he was highly knowledgeable , great communication skills , With his knowledge he would get into every study group , Girls would flock to him and boys respected him as their Imam , Remember your mastery of subject opens doors that no other key can open. Study Hard as Knowledge is the real power. That londa was me duh !!

Rule number 15 : Always Remember 99 percent couple in University ka katey ga , no matter what and One percent will be those where londa actually had Usmle or Topper In Uni , rest will be Dust.....

Rule number 16 : Stay away from Gossip its a big time waste. Study something every day even for 2 hours .

If you have more rules gimme that as well

Rule number 1 : The best move you can pull in the early days is make yourself CR , will have no problem approaching girls after that, and you will always have excuse to talk to them and won't be labelled creep

Rule number 2 : Be active and always faltter your teachers, Be the Greatest Chumcha of teacher ever , Sir aap ka knowledge, wah durya ko koozey me bund ker diya , Ilm e be panah ! , behr e be karan ! .Uff Sir kiya baat keh di aap ne , Tabahi ! .

Rule number 3 : "Every battle is won before its fought" Sun tzu Remember Adub and Feyz is more important than knowledge when it comes to passing the viva . Start going to Professor office for guidance a year before the viva . Just let him or her know your face that you exist.

Rule number 4 : Don't forget to get yourself in societies and events, be political and make connections

Rule number 5 : If you are event organiser, Always send girls to collect money , Abdullah never gonna give you money , must send Amna and not only he will give money but Dill bhi hatheli per rakh ke de ga , learned the hard way.

Rule number 6 : Remember jiss ne sub se pehley larki ya larkey ko approach ker liya he will have her or him and u will be regretting afterwards. Be first 🥇 mate And whenever you approach your crush must have valid excuse to talk to them like , Woh aap ke study notes chahiye thee etc , aap bhi usmle ki tyari ker rhi heen me bhi , even though you don't know the difference between mitral and bicuspid valve.

Rule number 7 : In early days keep your cards close to your chest , be formal in the beginning and don't be funny or act weird infront of girls . Always sit in front row and give answers to proffesors question, even if you are wrong must get attention form proffesors at all cost.

Rule number 8 : Don't start DM girls without any reason especially flirty ones , Girls take screenshots and pass around these screenshots having good laugh at your expense. Stay hydrated

Rule number 9 : 90 percent of mixed friends groups will be gone by the end of uni , Don't join mixed groups , stay with londa group or Saheli group.

Rule number 10 : Not everyone is gonna be your friend, don't trust your secrets to anyone especially during early days.

Rule number 11 : Never say me ne parh liya he , always say yaar parhai nhi ho rhi , people will think yeh flex mar rha he parhako na hu tu ......

Rule number 12 : Get yourself in library where you can study peacefully, make your habit to be in library all the time even if you are watching movies there , atleast some days u will study rather than sleeping in your Room.

Rule number 13 : Parhako logon se dosti buhut zarori , keep them close and lafangoon se door raho , Don't want to get entangled in their drama , Yaar bachi choor ke chali gayi ......

Rule number 14 : Group study boys ke sath nhi ho sakti , I once did group study with girls and they are so disciplined and studious that I achieved Muarfat in single night and learnt why they always top in medical clg , they make such beautiful timetables hour by hour I didn't knew that was a thing and their books are highlighted with different colours of highlighters and embroidery on book pages , Meanwhile boys ..... Once a boy proposed to this girl , she didn't gave a reply and gave his davidson medicine book back to the boy , signalling their relationship is over , three years later he was resident sitting in boys common room where he opened the book first time Infront of us for IMM and letter dropped by girl saying "Mujhe manzoor he " , Had to restrain that traumatized resident from jumping out the window. Moral " Kitab khool liya Karo Murdon "

Rule number 13 : Civic wala londa is a thing , get yourself a good car and Keep yourself well Groomed, Better be burger than Pendu , Speak English fluently wherever possible especially in Vivas and when teacher asks you questions, Fluent ENGLISH will elevate your reputation and make you an aristocrat.

Rule number 14 : Looks don't matter , There was a londa average looking in our UNI who knew how to speak and make funny puns , he was highly knowledgeable , great communication skills , With his knowledge he would get into every study group , Girls would flock to him and boys respected him as their Imam , Remember your mastery of subject opens doors that no other key can open. Study Hard as Knowledge is the real power. That londa was me duh !!

Rule number 15 : Always Remember 99 percent couple in University ka katey ga , no matter what and One percent will be those where londa actually had Usmle or Topper In Uni , rest will be Dust.....

Rule number 16 : Stay away from Gossip its a big time waste. Study something every day even for 2 hours .

If you have more rules gimme that as well

Rule number 1 : The best move you can pull in the early days is make yourself CR , will have no problem approaching girls after that, and you will always have excuse to talk to them and won't be labelled creep

Rule number 2 : Be active and always faltter your teachers, Be the Greatest Chumcha of teacher ever , Sir aap ka knowledge, wah durya ko koozey me bund ker diya , Ilm e be panah ! , behr e be karan ! .Uff Sir kiya baat keh di aap ne , Tabahi ! .

Rule number 3 : "Every battle is won before its fought" Sun tzu Remember Adub and Feyz is more important than knowledge when it comes to passing the viva . Start going to Professor office for guidance a year before the viva . Just let him or her know your face that you exist.

Rule number 4 : Don't forget to get yourself in societies and events, be political and make connections

Rule number 5 : If you are event organiser, Always send girls to collect money , Abdullah never gonna give you money , must send Amna and not only he will give money but Dill bhi hatheli per rakh ke de ga , learned the hard way.

Rule number 6 : Remember jiss ne sub se pehley larki ya larkey ko approach ker liya he will have her or him and u will be regretting afterwards. Be first 🥇 mate And whenever you approach your crush must have valid excuse to talk to them like , Woh aap ke study notes chahiye thee etc , aap bhi usmle ki tyari ker rhi heen me bhi , even though you don't know the difference between mitral and bicuspid valve.

Rule number 7 : In early days keep your cards close to your chest , be formal in the beginning and don't be funny or act weird infront of girls . Always sit in front row and give answers to proffesors question, even if you are wrong must get attention form proffesors at all cost.

Rule number 8 : Don't start DM girls without any reason especially flirty ones , Girls take screenshots and pass around these screenshots having good laugh at your expense. Stay hydrated

Rule number 9 : 90 percent of mixed friends groups will be gone by the end of uni , Don't join mixed groups , stay with londa group or Saheli group.

Rule number 10 : Not everyone is gonna be your friend, don't trust your secrets to anyone especially during early days.

Rule number 11 : Never say me ne parh liya he , always say yaar parhai nhi ho rhi , people will think yeh flex mar rha he parhako na hu tu ......

Rule number 12 : Get yourself in library where you can study peacefully, make your habit to be in library all the time even if you are watching movies there , atleast some days u will study rather than sleeping in your Room.

Rule number 13 : Parhako logon se dosti buhut zarori , keep them close and lafangoon se door raho , Don't want to get entangled in their drama , Yaar bachi choor ke chali gayi ......

Rule number 14 : Group study boys ke sath nhi ho sakti , I once did group study with girls and they are so disciplined and studious that I achieved Muarfat in single night and learnt why they always top in medical clg , they make such beautiful timetables hour by hour I didn't knew that was a thing and their books are highlighted with different colours of highlighters and embroidery on book pages , Meanwhile boys ..... Once a boy proposed to this girl , she didn't gave a reply and gave his davidson medicine book back to the boy , signalling their relationship is over , three years later he was resident sitting in boys common room where he opened the book first time Infront of us for IMM and letter dropped by girl saying "Mujhe manzoor he " , Had to restrain that traumatized resident from jumping out the window. Moral " Kitab khool liya Karo Murdon "

Rule number 13 : Civic wala londa is a thing , get yourself a good car and Keep yourself well Groomed, Better be burger than Pendu , Speak English fluently wherever possible especially in Vivas and when teacher asks you questions, Fluent ENGLISH will elevate your reputation and make you an aristocrat.

Rule number 14 : Looks don't matter , There was a londa average looking in our UNI who knew how to speak and make funny puns , he was highly knowledgeable , great communication skills , With his knowledge he would get into every study group , Girls would flock to him and boys respected him as their Imam , Remember your mastery of subject opens doors that no other key can open. Study Hard as Knowledge is the real power. That londa was me duh !!

Rule number 15 : Always Remember 99 percent couple in University ka katey ga , no matter what and One percent will be those where londa actually had Usmle or Topper In Uni , rest will be Dust.....

Rule number 16 : Stay away from Gossip its a big time waste. Study something every day even for 2 hours .

If you have more rules gimme that as well

Hi Guyz , I am looking for study buddy , who is Peer e kamil , who can teach me stuff and guide me to Transcendence ,

Ideally I would love you to be graduate as I am 27 male myself and would greatly benefit from your otherworldly experiences. I would be rumi and you will be Shams e tabreezi.

I had one peer who was consultant but Sadly there was this peerni like bushra bibi who stole him away and he married now , So I am left alone studying........

A long time ago , Heavens sent a Gift to humanity in the form of Asteroid made up of gold and Iron .

Valcanoes erupted and whole of the stratosphere was covered with cloud of ammonia , gasses and Clouds so dense that it killed most of the phtosynthetic plants and vegetation

Dianosorus being the Huge and metabolically demanding creatures needed a lot of plants to survive so they persihed of starvation , but small 25 feet Humans and neanderthals survived bcuz our hairy paws were able to hunt beasts in groups plus we were omnivores , we did not had any taste preferences . so when we ran out of beasts we ate fellow Neanderthals as well .

anyway smol animals survived = big ones went extinct

Fast forward WW3 is looming and short people and cockroaches are gonna survive nuclear winter bcuz there small bodies dont need much food to function , just one mcdonald burger is enough to fill their small belly , cockraoches can survive radiation exposure , I am already breeding them as personal project to make my Qumbal out of them , u never know when nuke gonna go off . Nobody is gonna draft short people as guns not built for them they usually fly away in opposite direction to the bullet .

Anyway , being short means u gonna be first to be launched in probes sent to space , like to mars bcuz of High Energy to mass ratio ,

There is a theory that I postulated in my high school that as population will expand size of humans is gonna decrease better energy effeciency for a given brain , like ants , imagine ants making big fusion reactors and goiung to nearby star , we are gonna spread in space and short people will be leading us .

Celebrate guyz You are next stage of human evolution

Rule number 1 : Always proclaim that you are poor and from very poor family never say or flex u rich.

Rule number 2 : Never keep 1000rs note in your pocket keep it in your socks , if someone demands change keep 50 rs or 100 rs note in your wallet, 500 and 1000 rupees note should be in your sgalwar ki pocket or Socks.

Rule number 3 : Whenever you go out to have dinner ya party with boys , butwa khali le ke jao , and always take udhaar from some freind instead of giving udhaar , bcuz Doston se UDHAAR wapis lena is impossible.

Rule number 4 : GARI tu hostel me lani hi nhi kabhi ever, you wont be able to say no ,

Rule number 5 : Never ever Fill Bike ki tanki , thora sa petrol bottle me rakh ke kamrey me chupa loo , so that zaroart parney per bike Petrol pump tuk chali jaye and tell your mates who want your bike ke bhai petrol dulwa deen khatam ho gya he jani

Rule number 6 : Bhai kabhi bhi , khana shared fridge me nhi rakhna , you will never get it back, eat then and there .

Rule number 7 : Yaar maheena ka akhir he ghar walon ne pesey nhi bhejey , iss se pehley tum se koi pesey mangney aye tum uss se pehley pese mang loo even though you are sitting on 3 lac cash.

Rule number 8 : Never offer khaney pe chaleen , they will ve expecting tum khulaa rhe hoo always say jani cgaye pilaye ga , pesey baad me le leen mere hissey kee.

Rule number 9 : American sharing is lie keep that in mind , try to go with female group on high end cafes , they will give you exact American sharing change , once I went with girls to elite cafe and they gave me 2 rupee sikka as well , I cried that day even though I was Man .

https://i.redd.it/wki086sotazg1.gif

Rule number 10 : Bhai Istri or nail cutter Chaar dewari se bahir nhi jani chahiye room ki

Rule number 11 : Bhai pen khatam ho gye heen , me tu khud tujh se mangney a rha tha .

Rule number 12 : Never trust your personal secrets even to your best friends, Snakes are everywhere, especially in early days

Rule number 13 : Jo complaint le ker pehley jaye ga warden ke pass wohi sacha hee .

Edit : Not everyone is gonna be your friend in hostel, some people will pose as your friends but will backstab you or back bite behind your back , snakes are everywhere and you will need time to find out who is who , don't get taken advantage of, some people are just there to exploit you without giving anything in return. I am not saying hostel life is bad , I had great moments there but you need to find right people and boys need to learn American sharing, hurr bandey ka apnay zaraf hota he kuch nice loog pesey nhi mangtey wapis bcuz of their zurf , but unko choona tu mut lagao.

Gimme more rules if you have any

Rule number 1 : Always proclaim that you are poor and from very poor family never say or flex u rich.

Rule number 2 : Never keep 1000rs note in your pocket keep it in your socks , if someone demands change keep 50 rs or 100 rs note in your wallet, 500 and 1000 rupees note should be in your shalwar ki pocket or Socks.

Rule number 3 : Whenever you go out to have dinner ya party with boys , butwa khali le ke jao , and always take udhaar from some freind instead of giving udhaar , bcuz Doston se UDHAAR wapis lena is impossible.

Rule number 4 : GARI tu hostel me lani hi nhi kabhi ever, you wont be able to say no ,

Rule number 5 : Never ever Fill Bike ki tanki , thora sa petrol bottle me rakh ke kamrey me chupa loo , so that zaroart parney per bike Petrol pump tuk chali jaye and tell your mates who want your bike ke bhai petrol dulwa deen khatam ho gya he jani

Rule number 6 : Bhai kabhi bhi , khana shared fridge me nhi rakhna , you will never get it back, eat then and there .

Rule number 7 : Yaar maheena ka akhir he ghar walon ne pesey nhi bhejey , iss se pehley tum se koi pesey mangney aye tum uss se pehley pese mang loo even though you are sitting on 3 lac cash.

Rule number 8 : Never offer khaney pe chaleen , they will ve expecting tum khulaa rhe hoo always say jani cgaye pilaye ga , pesey baad me le leen mere hissey kee.

Rule number 9 : American sharing is lie keep that in mind , try to go with female group on high end cafes , they will give you exact American sharing change , once I went with girls to elite cafe and they gave me 2 rupee sikka as well , I cried that day even though I was Man .

https://i.redd.it/li9xq1cfuazg1.gif

Rule number 10 : Bhai Istri or nail cutter Chaar dewari se bahir nhi jani chahiye room ki

Rule number 11 : Bhai pen khatam ho gye heen , me tu khud tujh se mangney a rha tha .

Rule number 12 : Never trust your personal secrets even to your best friends, Snakes are everywhere, especially in early days

Rule number 13 : Jo complaint le ker pehley jaye ga warden ke pass wohi sacha hee

Edit : Not everyone is gonna be your friend in hostel, some people will pose as your friends but will backstab you or back bite behind your back , snakes are everywhere and you will need time to find out who is who , don't get taken advantage of, some people are just there to exploit you without giving anything in return. I am not saying hostel life is bad , I had great moments there but you need to find right people and boys need to learn American sharing, hurr bandey ka apnay zaraf hota he kuch nice loog pesey nhi mangtey wapis khud se bcuz of their zurf , but unko choona tu mut lagao.

Gimme more rules if you have any

Rule number 1 : Always proclaim that you are poor and from very poor family never say or flex u rich.

Rule number 2 : Never keep 1000rs note in your pocket keep it in your socks , if someone demands change keep 50 rs or 100 rs note in your wallet, 500 and 1000 rupees note should be in your sgalwar ki pocket or Socks.

Rule number 3 : Whenever you go out to have dinner ya party with boys , butwa khali le ke jao , and always take udhaar from some freind instead of giving udhaar , bcuz Doston se UDHAAR wapis lena is impossible.

Rule number 4 : GARI tu hostel me lani hi nhi kabhi ever, you wont be able to say no ,

Rule number 5 : Never ever Fill Bike ki tanki , thora sa petrol bottle me rakh ke kamrey me chupa loo , so that zaroart parney per bike Petrol pump tuk chali jaye and tell your mates who want your bike ke bhai petrol dulwa deen khatam ho gya he jani

Rule number 6 : Bhai kabhi bhi , khana shared fridge me nhi rakhna , you will never get it back, eat then and there .

Rule number 7 : Yaar maheena ka akhir he ghar walon ne pesey nhi bhejey , iss se pehley tum se koi pesey mangney aye tum uss se pehley pese mang loo even though you are sitting on 3 lac cash.

Rule number 8 : Never offer khaney pe chaleen , they will ve expecting tum khulaa rhe hoo always say jani cgaye pilaye ga , pesey baad me le leen mere hissey kee.

Rule number 9 : American sharing is lie keep that in mind , try to go with female group on high end cafes , they will give you exact American sharing change , once I went with girls to elite cafe and they gave me 2 rupee sikka as well , I cried that day even though I was Man .

https://i.redd.it/ypbpmmwasazg1.gif

Rule number 10 : Bhai Istri or nail cutter Chaar dewari se bahir nhi jani chahiye room ki

Rule number 11 : Bhai pen khatam ho gye heen , me tu khud tujh se mangney a rha tha .

Rule number 12 : Never trust your personal secrets even to your best friends, Snakes are everywhere, especially in early days

Rule number 13 : Jo complaint le ker pehley jaye ga warden ke pass wohi sacha hee

rule number 14 by u/ShotZookeepergame882 : Never order food around roommates who says oh nae aap krlo mujhe Bhook nae they WILL steal ur food once it delivers (fanum tax)

Gimme more rules if you have any

Rule number 1 : Always proclaim that you are poor and from very poor family never say or flex u rich.

Rule number 2 : Never keep 1000rs note in your pocket keep it in your socks , if someone demands change keep 50 rs or 100 rs note in your wallet, 500 and 1000 rupees note should be in your sgalwar ki pocket or Socks.

Rule number 3 : Whenever you go out to have dinner ya party with boys , butwa khali le ke jao , and always take udhaar from some freind instead of giving udhaar , bcuz Doston se UDHAAR wapis lena is impossible.

Rule number 4 : GARI tu hostel me lani hi nhi kabhi ever, you wont be able to say no ,

Rule number 5 : Never ever Fill Bike ki tanki , thora sa petrol bottle me rakh ke kamrey me chupa loo , so that zaroart parney per bike Petrol pump tuk chali jaye and tell your mates who want your bike ke bhai petrol dulwa deen khatam ho gya he jani

Rule number 6 : Bhai kabhi bhi , khana shared fridge me nhi rakhna , you will never get it back, eat then and there .

Rule number 7 : Yaar maheena ka akhir he ghar walon ne pesey nhi bhejey , iss se pehley tum se koi pesey mangney aye tum uss se pehley pese mang loo even though you are sitting on 3 lac cash.

Rule number 8 : Never offer khaney pe chaleen , they will ve expecting tum khulaa rhe hoo always say jani cgaye pilaye ga , pesey baad me le leen mere hissey kee.

Rule number 9 : American sharing is lie keep that in mind , try to go with female group on high end cafes , they will give you exact American sharing change , once I went with girls to elite cafe and they gave me 2 rupee sikka as well , I cried that day even though I was Man .

Rule number 10 : Bhai Istri or nail cutter Chaar dewari se bahir nhi jani chahiye room ki

Rule number 11 : Bhai pen khatam ho gye heen , me tu khud tujh se mangney a rha tha .

Rule number 12 : Never trust your personal secrets even to your best friends, Snakes are everywhere, especially in early days

Rule number 13 : Jo complaint le ker pehley jaye ga warden ke pass wohi sacha hee

Rule number 14 by Fpawa69: apna charger lock karke rakho. ek baar diya tou gaya. 🙂

Gimme more rules if you have any

I am Doctor male myself and these days, I am reading that Paki moms are Obsessed over Dr Bahu.They are in high demand

They are not special, There are Computer science girls as well , also police girls but stay away from lawyer Bahu scary stuff .

If desi moms want someone who can take care of ill why not marry Nurse ,

I probably will be marrying nurse if everything goes great and nurses are much more respectful and caring than Doctor ladies. They are so nice and empathetic, they are much more emotionally mature and Soft spoken as well.

I have been talking to gents in library from different fields and everyone seems to think that Dr Biwi is ultimate status symbol. Khandaan me Nose unchi ho jati hee .

I had to explain them bhai residency bhi karni hoti he khatoon ne calls bhi lagti geen night ki erc etc

I have talked to many dr girls and they seem to be interested mostly in dr husbands i don't know why .

I am Doctor male myself and these days, I am reading that Paki moms are Obsessed over Dr Bahu.They are in high demand

They are not special, There are Computer science girls as well , also police girls but stay away from lawyer Bahu scary stuff .

If desi moms want someone who can take care of ill why not marry Nurse ,

I probably will be marrying nurse if everything goes great and they are much more respectful and caring than Doctor ladies.

I have been talking to gents in library from different fields and everyone seems to think that Dr Biwi is ultimate status symbol. Khandaan me Nose unchi ho jati hee .

One of the worst novels and shows are produced by Pakistani writers like khalil ur Rehman qamar , the abomination we call drama is enshittifying our children and their brains are rotting, Even I hate Preezad ...

Yahan Saas bahu ke masley khatam nhi ho rhe , Ishq ke mamlat me londey zibah ho rhe dramon me , I don't want it , If I had option I would run a tank on these drama studios,

look at what west is writing Project hail Mary, they are teaching their kids critical thinking and scientific reasoning I am talking about book not movie , movie was meh , killed all the roadblocks they had to hop over to establish communication strategy with intelligent life , in real book it was sublime.

look at western novel writers like Foundation by isac asimov , red rising, Phlip k dick works they make you shoot for stars and usher humanity into future ,

Look at Foundation three clones of same man age gap 20 years apart rule a galaxy for thousands of years , space travel , look at star wars a story of revolution and courage like in andor

I hate Pakistan wiriters they are all shitshows , same old relationships drama, even our drama industry is cooked zindagi gulzar he , I don't need it , I want Westworld and ex machina and Silo to make my brain feel great.

What are paki and Bollywood doing , item songs , shit , I don't want to see your belly muscles flexing in certain rhythm, I don't want to see your thumka , I don't want to see your Pyaar .

One day I watched a Bollywood movie recommended by my friend of kabhir singh acting as surgeon and had crushed on this med school girl , When I was finished I took my slippers and went for that freind who recommended me that shit. How disgusting ! Could have listened to Dr israr or some other Great person but No......

One of the worst novels and shows are produced by Pakistani writers like khalil ur Rehman qamar , the abomination we call drama is enshittifying our children and their brains are rotting, Even I hate Preezad ...

Yahan Saas bahu ke masley khatam nhi ho rhe , Ishq ke mamlat me londey zibah ho rhe dramon me , I don't want it , If I had option I would run a tank on these drama studios,

look at what west is writing Project hail Mary, they are teaching their kids critical thinking and scientific reasoning I am talking about book not movie , movie was meh , killed all the roadblocks they had to hop over to establish communication strategy with intelligent life , in real book it was sublime.

look at western novel writers like Foundation by isac asimov , red rising, Phlip k dick works they make you shoot for stars and usher humanity into future ,

Look at Foundation three clones of same man age gap 20 years apart rule a galaxy for thousands of years , space travel , look at star wars a story of revolution and courage like in andor

I hate Pakistan wiriters they are all shitshows , same old relationships drama, even our drama industry is cooked zindagi gulzar he , I don't need it , I want Westworld and ex machina and Silo to make my brain feel great.

What are paki and Bollywood doing , item songs , shit , I don't want to see your belly muscles flexing in certain rhythm, I don't want to see your thumka , I don't want to see your Pyaar .

One day I watched a Bollywood movie recommended by my friend of kabhir singh acting as surgeon and had crushed on this med school girl , When I was finished I took my slippers and went for that freind who recommended me that shit. How disgusting ! Could have listened to Dr israr or some other Great person but No......

One of the worst novels and shows are produced by Pakistani writers like khalil ur Rehman qamar , the abomination we call drama is enshittifying our children and their brains are rotting, Even I hate Preezad ...

Yahan Saas bahu ke masley khatam nhi ho rhe , Ishq ke mamlat me londey zibah ho rhe dramon me , I don't want it , If I had option I would run a tank on these drama studios,

look at what west is writing Project hail Mary, they are teaching their kids critical thinking and scientific reasoning I am talking about book not movie , movie was meh , killed all the roadblocks they had to hop over to establish communication strategy with intelligent life , in real book it was sublime.

look at western novel writers like Foundation by isac asimov , red rising, Phlip k dick works they make you shoot for stars and usher humanity into future ,

Look at Foundation three clones of same man age gap 20 years apart rule a galaxy for thousands of years , space travel , look at star wars a story of revolution and courage like in andor

I hate Pakistan wiriters they are all shitshows , same old relationships drama, even our drama industry is cooked zindagi gulzar he , I don't need it , I want Westworld and ex machina and Silo to make my brain feel great.

What are paki and Bollywood doing , item songs , shit , I don't want to see your belly muscles flexing in certain rhythm, I don't want to see your thumka , I don't want to see your Pyaar .

One day I watched a Bollywood movie recommended by my friend of kabhir singh acting as surgeon and had crushed on this med school girl , When I was finished I took my slippers and went for that freind who recommended me that shit. How disgusting ! Could have listened to Dr israr or some other Great person but No......

Any joke in urdu will be apprecited .

I will be writing them down in my list of great jokes I am compiling before i delete my account

so that I can crack them at Serious events like being robbed at gun point or hostage situation to diffuse tension .

Bonus point for a joke that kills . if u have nsfw joke send me dm

Bump

Background : I used to work in Hospital as doctor in one of Military hospitals as HO , during my last days new batch of AFNS nurses joined CMH after passing out , I was tasked to teach new nurses basics of emergency procedures in MI like how to bring back soul of pt from heavens back into the body with 200 J electric shock usually captain docs do that kind of scut work but my HOD ne Yeh ALOO mujhe pakra diya .

Anyway I taught them with such zeal that and wierd style that most of them were laughing all the time . I am a great teacher btw ( 90% jokes 10 % content ) . That was my first time seeing her sitting in the corner , she was so gorgeous like nazish jhangir , I dont think I have seen any afns that goregous and tall almost as tall as me and I am 6ft . If she was doc she could be celebrity in med school , Later she was doing rotation in emergency department and I was there on calls as well , She used to Call my name In such a respectable and sweat way Doctor (my name) AAP plz yeh ker deen etc. I dont think any body has given me so much respect , I stole lot of her pens as well not on puropse I just forgot to return them back but she never complained , maybe 12 or 15 pens , she always had new pen next day . On my last day I gave her my pen it was like 200 riyal (15k pkr) sheaffer pen with apology , she refused at first I told her it was like 500 pkr only nothing special , I dont think she wud know the cost.

Anyway So I called a Ot tech HAValdar who used to work with us , his wife was senior afns as well , I asked Hav sahab about her , that I would like to send rishta to her baton baton me , I dont think he took me seroius , he did not reply for a week or so I thought maybe she is married or something , today he called me and told me that his wife asked around and she is not married and her family is looking for rishta for her , he asked me if I am seroius in sending proposal , I told him yes , He asked AAp ne apni family se baat ker li hee , I told him yes my family is ready , I asked him keh Unn ke father ka number send ker deen , He said that he would talk to his wife . Anyway it was a short talk I did not get time to talk to him in detail as I was running late for Jummah .

Problem number 1 : My problem Is I did not told my family anything at all , they dont know what is going on , and I am scared shitless How to tell my dad or mom about it . I am thinking of talking to my dad first bcuz it will be easy , Me and my dad we are not close like desi father son , He is not emotional type he is seroius person , he will either say yes or No , I am thinking of sending him long email with details instead of In person talk although we live under the same roof . My dad likes to know details and well written report and i will be able to expalin myself better thru email .

Problem number 2 : What If my Dad says No I am not going there , her father is some govt employee and live in village that is far from my city , What if senior afns already told the girl already that I will be sending rishta but my dad does not go there or call her father what wud she think of me .

Problem number 3 : What if my DAD goes there but her family rejects the proposal , I dont want to emberass my family like that . Although her family is not that strong financially I think , HAV told me the rank and I searched on google they get like 90k and my Dad is among the top 1 percent of bank accout holders of pak and he is very proud person , If he think there is No chance of acceptance , he wont go there in first place , he may never go there for mayraid of other reasons as well . How do I convince him to atleast call them .

Problem number 4 : I dont want to talk to my mom first , I dont know what her reaction is going to be , she will call her whole family discussing my situation and my cuzns gonna come at my home to make fun of me . they wud even fly from different city just to mock me or whatever , I dont need them . Also my mom wants me to marry me my cuzn who lives abroad . If nobody support me I am going to go on my own , Although I Am not doing job at the moment and I have only 8 lac in my personal account that I was gonna use to buy rtx 5090 . Dont think it wud be enough . I wud have to start Job soon unfortuanately .

Edit : I dont have any financial pressure to start job , If my family approves they wont have problem sponsering my marriage as money is not an issue in our family . I can sell my Car as well old prado worth 1cr I think So no problem with money

what would you do in my sitauation . I cant step back now