Not sure which flair it belongs to. It might trigger some people so I used Emotional Abuse.
I was born in North East Asia and my whole life, I never felt like I belong. Most people are superficial and if you are sick that cause weight gain, they 1. Laugh at you 2. Bully you 3. Smile in front of you then talk shit about you behind your back...etc.
It was very depressing growing up with autoimmune disease and nobody cared to find out. Not even my mum. My body blew up like a bballoon and my mum picked on me all the time, called me "fat" or laughed at me "You are like a pig LOL". So I spent my entire high school years using different products, obsessing over weight loss. All because of my mum, she picked on me and bullied me at home while I was bullied at school too.
After I moved to western country to be away from those toxic beauty standards and trauma from family, I encountered the same shit. Today!
I was getting an iron infusion and the admin was this middle age Chinese lady. When she asked my height and weight. I said I checked last time I was around 47 or 48kg.
She scanned me up right and down like I was lying. Fck I really didn't know since I am away from asian culture and decided that I am not touching any of that to avoid triggers. I am in western country, I wanted to be happy so I don't check my weight anymore (I still maintain healthy range and observing my body shape. Still actively trying to lose weight which is embedded in my head since middle school) I dont want to go back to high school years, being hyper vigilant, obsessing over weight loss due to fear of judgment from all of my family members.
The way she scanned me was really judgy and uncomfortable. It really reminds me of my mother and how most asian having this toxic beauty standards can totally ruin your mental health.
I recently had been taking antihistamines and I blew up 7kg in 2 weeks. I didn't know it was that bad.
Next thing she insisted that I used their scale in the clinic and watched me weighing. And told me "seeeeee!" That was extremely uncomfortable and incredibly intrusive.
I have never been to any clinic that would insist on me using scale and watch me while weighing. Fuck I really hate asian when it comes to the toxic beauty standards.
So judgy and so critical!!!
What's your asian toxic beauty standards horror story?