What do I do?
I have developed agoraphobia over the last 9 months due to having GI issues and having the fear of going outside because of my stomach acting up. It’s lead me to not leaving the house at all or having major panic attacks when I’m outside that just don’t go away. I had a doctors appointment yesterday that my mom drove me to and I was panicking the entire time. When I got to the doctors appointment I was shaking so badly and was trying to “accept the fact that I’m anxious” but it wasn’t working. I timed out the appointment so that I would get there and not have to sit for a long time and just get the appointment done as quickly as possible but then the front desk lady told me someone was before me. I started panicking and telling my mom I can’t wait until the other lady was done and so the front desk lady sent for the doctor to come check up on me becuase I was very visibly anxious and he took me back and I just started bawling. He told me he did have to see the other lady first and that I would need to wait. I said that I couldn’t wait another 30 minutes and to reschedule for tomorrow. Today is when my rescheduled appointment was and I missed it because I prepared myself all week to go to that appointment and I had no time to prep before going today, so I canceled it. I feel horrible about myself and my dad is disappointment in me thinking that I’m being lazy and that I need to “just do it.” I felt like I was dying yesterday and I tried my hardest to get out as it was the first time in months which is still an accomplishment but I feel like a failure. I don’t know what to do anymore.