u/Decent_Sandwich_8878

Hey y’all

Assistant mod here. Just wanted to get an idea of how you all feel about posts from people who are not studs, mascs, or otherwise gender non conforming black lesbians.

I’ve seen a few posts from femmes and most recently, there was a very unfortunate post made by a straight white man??? I’m so sorry if you had to see that btw, the entitlement and audacity was really really crazy. Please report BS like that to mods immediately

I don’t want to overly police this space. I want y’all to feel free to express yourselves. But, I also acknowledge that we have precious little just for us, and we deserve space!

What do y’all think? should posts strictly be for studs? would you prefer maybe one day of the week for non studs to post? Do you have any other ideas? what would make you feel most comfortable and safe?

thanks! xx

mind you I hate the way men interpret manhood and I would never wanna be their idea of a man. but sometimes I wish I looked like one. not enough to truly pursue it but enough that I get gender envy from pretty boys lmao

like why are they so pretty? wtf???

i’m not a trans man (at least, I don’t think so. I don’t want to identify strictly with binary genders) so most of the time I ignore it. I’m pretty comfortable in my body for the most part. But every now and then I see a pretty boy with a snatched waist and think “damn… could’ve been me”

I’m on T to hopefully look/sound more androgynous but I can’t help but wonder sometimes ngl!

so I mentioned like a month back about that cute masc from the movie right

anyway I went to a different event and they were there. I approached them (platonically) and struck up a conversation. they were pretty chill and asked for my ig. We texted a bit back and forth, nothing crazy. I mentioned an event I was going to offhand, and they came!

it was a public event and i was in pain so I ended up sitting out most of the time. they stayed with me most of the evening even though their friend invited them too! We just talked and it was super comfortable. slightly touching, it was a big couch but we were in contact. neither of us moved. At one point, we discussed types (which they brought up!) and they talked about only having experience with femmes bc that’s who approaches them, but they are open. they said femmes catch their attention quickest tho

i’m just kind of struggling now. I wasn’t trying to catch feels, I didn’t expect to catch feels, honestly, I did not want to. I’m just not in the headspace to be dating. but Then I saw a photo of them with this gorgeous femme and the way they were looking at her, I thought “wow, I wish it was me they looked at like that”

Now I’m just seeing them with femmes and thinking am I stupid for thinking there could be a chance? thought there could’ve been some flirting, we held hands at one point and they interlocked fingers with mine. They complimented me and spent 80% of the night talking to me, and insisted they wanted to.

But I’m not a femme, never will be. I guess I’m afraid that even if they ever were interested, deep down they’d be wanting a femme?

i know most mascs don’t have experience with other mascs bc society blah blah blah. I guess I’m wondering how to cope with insecurity that comes from knowing you’re not someone’s usual type

plus, were they flirting with me, or am I tweaking?

met organically too LORD WON’T HE DO IT!

it takes a lot for me to feel somebody and I hate the apps so, I have a real crush maybe once every 1-2 years if I’m lucky, and luck has not been on my side 💀 I was certain my type doesn’t exist here and if they do, they wouldn’t date a masc. I had settled myself in to minding my business on my own, and felt pretty satisfied

Kept seeing shawty (stem, mid to late twenties) at an event we are both volunteering for and thinking “my lord she is beautiful”

i noticed every time I looked around the room she would be looking in my direction already. Lots of lingering glances and smiles sent my way. Second time I saw her she sat near me and joined a group I was talking in. I’m useless so when I find someone to be very much my type, I ignore them like they’ve insulted my entire bloodline. I already struggle with eye contact don’t let a mf be hot!! anyway

i was so mad at myself for chickening out when she was basically right in front of me. so, I put on my detective hat and found her Instagram. Follow. She follows back. I messaged her and confessed I’ve been too shy to talk to her. She said she thinks I’m really beautiful and asked me out?!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

moral of the story is that there is hope even for socially anxious nerds in predominantly white areas like myself. So don’t give up shawty, GO OUTSIDE! y’all go to work then straight home, refuse to leave the house, then wonder why u ain’t seeing anybody. you must BE SEEN to SEE! tape it on your mirror if u must

just seen yet another cute stud on facebook talking about some NAH THAT'S TOO GAY THAT'S TOO GAY and i just don't get it. like you're sexy i'm sexy why can't we be sexy together? who cares WE ARE ALREADY GAY!!!

this is a stud that stays pandering to the religious and hetero community so i'm not surprised but i'm just disappointed cause they pop up on my feed, i stay cause she is fine as fuck, and then she says some silly shit. like girl just stand there quietly please! ugh!

TW: white people

so i was at an event last summer that had a lot of mascs and i was speaking to some of them. mostly white mascs but a few black ones. and all the white mascs and butches were like "yeah i'll date another masc, mascs are hot" it was only the black one who said "i like femmes only" and i'm just wondering, why is it our community that is so strict with these standards? is it because it feels "safer" to be in a "straight passing" relationship when you are already ostracized on the basis of race, gender, and sexuality? please don't take this as me elevating white folk, they got hella problems of they own. but i do wonder why that seems to differ in our communities. i want a study done on this

it's a similar problem that i experience as a stem like most black people seem to want somebody who is strictly on one side or the other and i'm like idk babe i'm just me 🤷🏿

why is our community so strict? i wonder