I can’t believe it’s been almost half a year. Everything has been such a blur, it genuinely feels like dday was only last week. In a few days it’ll be six weeks no contact, that feels fake too. I still have panic attacks. Things are okay, I keep busy and I’m starting to be genuinely happy again.
I wrote this in response to someone last week but I’ll reiterate it here: I’m willing to endure this horrendous year of grieving and gluing myself back together, if it means that I won’t have a horrendous life with a porn sick man.
My main piece of advice right now is go no contact as soon as you can. It took me almost four months to finally do it. After I broke up with him, I just wanted answers and to talk it over a million times. Eventually I realized that I was never going to get the level of “closure” I was looking for from him and had to walk away for good. I understand everyone moves at their own pace and I’m not saying to rush yourself at all — just keep in mind that you’re never going to feel completely ready to walk away, it’s more something you do and then figure out day by day.
Also this is a side note: I’ve gained over ten pounds since the break up because I was so depressed. I was someone who was relatively confident — even after dday, I didn’t feel insecure about my body at all. That being said, now that I’m larger and don’t fit in my clothes it’s been hitting me hard. Then I get upset with myself because you’re supposed to ‘glow up’ after a break up, but I’ve just been having a hard time taking care of myself.