Today was a regular day, but I felt like the world is gray and nothing means anything. I have no motivation to do anything for myself, I couldn’t even finish my workout beyond the first exercise because I couldn’t be bothered. I struggled to get out of bed this morning. I snoozed my alarm for an hour and a half. I didn’t need 10 hours of sleep. I’m extremely productive at work, but outside of that I feel like I’m just burning time for nothing, waiting. More than anything I want to be in a relationship with someone I really like. Somehow I feel like that would bring some meaning to my life where it’s missing, even though I know that probably isn’t the case. I wonder if my dopamine circuitry is just fried, that all the social media, scrolling and gaming has desensitised me to the world and now everything around me seems boring.
What can I do to feel something again?