I (51F) have a father (81M) who just got remarried after my mother’s death and ending of a 54 year marriage. My father since becoming widowed, became lonely and asked my sister (54F) and her family to move in with him. And in doing so, she would inherit the family home. He was seeing a woman (79F) from his church and what started as a friendship turned into a romantic relationship. After telling us that he’d never get remarried, he surprised us with an engagement and contract on a new house in that he was moving out of the family home. He did not get a prenup.
My father promised us that the finances would be separate between he and his new wife, and that my brother (50M) and I would get the new home as part of his will. We just found out that he changed his will after his marriage, and has added her to his bank account, on top of her getting everything from their marital house. This puts my brother and I in a bind because without the bank account, we cannot make payments on a house that we will acquire before selling. That, along with the fact that both mortgages (marital house and original house) are in his name and that any default of payment will put her home in jeopardy. The same house she has spent time and money on renovating. We are upset that he not only went against his original word, but also gave her more access to things in the event of his passing. On top of that us kids genuinely do not know her well and that the changes he’s made has burdened us to a house that we are responsible for paying for until it sells.
We have addressed our concerns with him, but he disagrees. He thinks that what we’ll have to spend will be nominal and that we have hurt his wife’s feelings in that we do not trust her. At this time, we are not on speaking terms. It seems as he is distancing himself more and more from us and we feel like we are his second family rather than first. That he is looking out more for her interests rather than ours. It's not as much about the money, as much as it is the loss of trust and that he has burdened us to house payments we did not sign up for.