The aim of this post is to act as a filter to ensure I don’t waste your time or obscure any potential incompatibilities. As such, I’m leaving out more personal details and interests in favor of prioritizing the things that really matter. That being said, I’m a very open person, and I’m more than happy to answer any questions at all! With that disclaimer out of the way…
Hi, I’m weird. Not in a bad way, or as a self-aggrandizing statement, but weird as in unusual. That comes with a variety of pros and cons, which is which depends entirely on who is reading this. So, what are these variables? I’m glad you asked!
Of most importance are my values. I’ve found Christianity (the true kind, not dogmatic organized religion’s imitation) to be the best explication for existence. Many other views are interesting or have elements of truth in them, but none are as internally consistent or hold up to observable evidence and logical reasoning. Not that I look down on anyone who disagrees, but I’m firmly in the camp that a successful relationship must be built on shared values. Just about everything else can be negotiated if it’s built on the same foundation.
The second most important thing is emotional independence. Certainly not 100% of the time, or being perfectly stoic…simply being able to regulate your emotions internally rather than relying on external systems and people. I have nothing against people who need that type of support, and I greatly respect those who are highly sensitive; it’s just a strong clash with how I function that would create a lot of friction and harm. For me personally, caring and support need to be voluntary rather than necessary. However, I also strongly believe in duty and responsibility, so this isn’t an argument for detachment or being dismissive.
Apart from those, there are lots of smaller things that are mostly preferences. Personality, attraction, intelligence, ambition, some shared interests, etc… The only other critical one is open-mindedness and the ability to sit with conflicting views. I’m looking for someone whom I can spar with. Someone who is just as eager to explore ideas and figure out what’s correct, rather than stay in comfortable waters and avoid conflict. Honesty, even when it’s painful, is very important. That doesn’t mean throwing away civility or fighting to ‘win’ debates, but it does mean a certain level of introspection and openness is required.
In short, I’m looking for someone to stand back-to-back with, against the endless onslaught that is life. Someone who aligns with my oddities in a way that pushes us both upward. Someone to philosophize with into the early morning while playing Factorio. Someone who understands me, and is understood in return, without needing the usual layers of translation. A true equal.
Does such a person exist? Statistically, without a doubt. When I look at the probabilities of finding such a person, the answer is much more bleak. Far better to never find the right person than to settle for a relationship that will just cause suffering. And besides, what use is life without hope?
Now, if you're still reading, how do you define truth, and what do you think is the best method of discovering it?