Right Person, Wrong Capacity
I (33M) was seeing a woman (33F). She has a condition that includes limited energy levels. We’d been taking it slow — we’d been on four dates and messaged every day for about three months. I didn’t mind; in fact, I’m introverted anyway, so I value alone time.
I really, really liked her. We seemed to have chemistry, and our values, interests, outlooks, and expectations all appeared to align. It just felt natural and easy. I decided not to pursue sex right away in an effort to be understanding of her condition and not overcomplicate things. The last time we saw each other, I kissed her goodbye, and she told me she wanted to see me again soon.
Because she was starting a new job and I was going on holiday, we agreed to give her time to adjust and arrange something later. Over the following two weeks, I noticed a change in her replies — they became less frequent and less conversational, though she still seemed interested. Eventually, she messaged apologising for the late responses, saying she had been struggling, wasn’t sure how long it would take her to adjust, and thought we should leave things there so she wouldn’t waste my time.
I feel no ill will towards her, but I miss her and wish I could have done something. All the possible reasons go through my head: maybe she wasn’t into me, maybe there was someone else, maybe I did or said something she didn’t like. Those reasons would honestly be easier to process, but I keep coming back to the reason she gave me, and it breaks my heart that she felt she wasn’t enough or that she was going to let me down.
I messaged her last week, over a month after we last spoke, mentioning that I’d read the book she recommended. She reacted with a heart and nothing more. I don’t need anyone to tell me what that means.
I’m back on the apps looking for something new, but I’m not really in it, think I need a break.