u/Dear_Salamander_6233

I'm 23. I gave my parents a 2 day notice that I was leaving to another state with my friends. I was supposed to leave today. I had planned it for multiple months.

Well, yesterday my parents managed to make it not happen. They were yelling and screaming at me, threatened to call the cops on anyone who shows up, sent nasty texts to my other friends for even having the thought of helping. I was infantilized heavily. They were telling me it was the worst mistake of my life. My phone got taken away and they wouldn't let me out of their sight, so my friends called the cops saying that I was being held against my will and they took my phone. I didn't even get the chance to speak before my parents did when they came. They said that I was being abused, controlled, and possibly sex trafficked by someone from the internet and were just concerned parents. So they sided with my parents and just walked away saying "just give the phone back and try to convince them to not go." I learned later that the police called my friends back saying that I didn't know them when I said I did know them and that I had pictures of me next to them on my phone. At one point they threatened to shoot the person picking me up. They sent violent threats to my friends.

They put me in the car and drove me to a hotel for the next 2 nights so I can't walk out of the door or be picked up to go anywhere.

This just made me want to leave more. All the sudden they care deeply about me when they just said that they didn't know how much longer they could support me and threatened to kick me out on the street a month ago.

To be clear... It's not like I don't want them to know. But I feel like I need space to grow as a human being and that staying here harms me. I'm 23. I was already subtly threatened to be kicked out because I left a job where I learned the hard way that I can't adjust to waking up at 3am. It's not as though I have no income, I do freelancing, but I wanted something more stable that'd help me pay off university that was more stable. Unfortunately I picked the wrong job just because it paid more than the one I was at before. I don't have my license yet because between college costs, my own food, and other expenses I can't afford to pay a driving school almost 800 bucks for a few lessons. My parents refuse to take me out for driving, regardless of if I offer to pay for gas. And they've used gas as an excuse, among other things! They've also been emotionally abusive in the past and after being subtly threatened I think I've had enough and I need to do something about my situation or else I'll never grow into what I want to be. Like, my father used to go through my phone even if the only reason my phone was taken away was bad grades. All texts read, sometimes read out to me. I've also been told that my father made a fake account on discord to "befriend" me and see how I interact with people to "make sure I'm not doing anything inappropriate." I won't get into it much more... But I've learned that many things my father has done was abusive even if I was never hit. And even though the egregious parts stopped post high school... Yeah...

I realized that I hate living here. Can't stand it anymore. I was told that I don't have a work ethic, every other day I've been asked how the job search is going even after interviews. I've got college paid off for a year, and my partner moved 2 states away for work. She offered to move me in with her because she was worried about me. So... I eventually agreed. She used her connections to get me in talks for a job over there which ended up in an offer. I don't want to just disappear though, because I know that'll freak them out, but I feel horrible going about life as normal while knowing I won't be here soon and knowing I'm too terrified to tell them. I don't have a car and they don't know I have a job over there. I know that to them they'd never expect it, and they won't understand because I'm throwing away my golden ticket of being housed for free. We spent the past month or two planning all the logistics, how I'm going to get to work and back, how I'm going to get my license (it's also cheaper to pay a driving school for lessons in this new state than the one I'm in, and my partner will take me out driving), my part of the bills, general time frames for specific things. Too much to go into detail in a reddit post about.

I feel like an adult asking for permission when I technically don't need any, but I'm so scared. I need some reassurance. I know how much I'm risking, but I feel like if I keep going as I have been I'll just be stagnant, and I want independence so badly. I don't know what my question is... I'm sorry... I guess I'm just seeking some sort of guidance or approval.