You’re all I think about, it’s been 8 months since I’ve last seen you, do you remember our memories? That was the last time I’ve ever felt happy, I’ve tried to write handwritten but my hand starts hurting, regardless I don’t even finish it because I start losing my mind. Why am I in so much denial and still have so much love for you, every time I think about you a river of blood comes out my eyes, wishing that you would message me. I miss you so much, would you come back to this place that you abounded. I cannot stay mad for long, I deserved it and I’m not half what I wish I was.
This month has been hurting the most.. your birthday is coming up but just in case you do ever read this Happy birthday👽❤️ you’re the most beautiful women ever, wherever you are I hope you’re doing well ofc like I’ve always told you, I hope your family is doing well. I hope you spend it well and that you’re happy and that you’re not drinking! Maybe just this once since it’s your birthday:) For the time we had together, you made feel like i was touching the sky up so high, hoping you would never let me down and I would do it one more time, would you? I’m sorry I ever tried to change you.
A part of me doesn’t want to know where you are, I’ve been wanting to catch up on each other, that im scared that I was never able to make your eyes catch fire the way they should. You told me that you didn’t feel “love” towards me, that really hurts now looking back:) if you never felt the same way I do towards me then i will miss you forever. I regret saying goodbye to you, but now i know we’ll never be together again and you’re gone for good. I wish i knew what I’ve learned to be a better man for you, and have you in my arms and being able to say we’re deeply in love as cheesy as it sounds:)
Im sorry for blaming you, your silence spoke thousands of words that I didn’t understand. I’m sorry for being a coward and not confronting you about my sins you knew about. I have so many questions I want to ask you so we could move on from this and be together once more like we both wanted, hoping that it isn’t too late for us to give it another chance, I don’t care what my family think nor my friends, they would never never understand our situation. All I want in my life is you to take me into your arms and never let me go.
I’m slowly starting to lose myself and I’m scared of letting out a noise I’ve been holding in for so long, did you put a spell on me? No matter what perspective I look at it, I can’t hold any hate towards you, the longer we’re apart the more I fall in love with you, I’m sorry for not being able to change for the better, I wish I could keep your mother’s request, and tell her that she doesn’t have to worry.
I still love you so much