u/Dear_Marionberry_533

I got broken up with this weekend. From how I understood, the reasoning revolves a lot more around his struggles around recent deaths in his family, and how he felt like he was struggling and kind of felt like he couldn’t really do anything without having to think about someone else. He also talked about not wanting to repeat a pattern that he had in his old marriage where he just pretended everything was OK and when it wasn’t.

He said it wasn’t my fault, when I asked him if it was anything I did and also we apologized for being extra needy for the past couple of weeks because of issues in my own own life. He said that he loves me and wants to revisit us in the future and that he will contact me when he feels ready, but doesn’t know how long that would be.

I asked him if this was a break up in the sense that it was more like a break or forever he said more like a break.

It’s still is and feels new enough that I want to hope for the best in trust what he said. But I do know that he did start by saying he thinks he wanted to break up and then refined to be more like a break then goodbye forever when I asked.

I know that the only thing I could do in loving him is to let him go and it just hurts so much and is so hard because I don’t know if you’ll come back and you only say assumption is that he won’t

If anyone has had experiences similar to this, please definitely drop your anecdotes

My (long distance) boyfriend of about 15 months broke up with me this weekend. It came out of nowhere - like that morning things felt fine, I went and got my nails done and once he made sure I got home, he said we needed to talk and said he thinks he wants to break up.

He insisted that it had nothing to do with me or anything I’ve said or done. That he loves me so much and that I’ve given him the best year of his life and I was everything.

He was very emotional and crying. At first, he said that he needed to figure out who he was outside of a relationship. (He was in an abusive marriage from 18 that he had ended about a month before we got together. He always said that marriage had been over for a while but he’d always thought that he would just go along his whole life in that marriage pretending it was okay)

But then he also said - honestly and the truth is - that he’s just not okay and not happy right now. That all of the deaths within this past year (he had 3 close family members pass away in the span of 6 months) were really hard for him. Especially his grandma. That he wasn’t able to go home for the last funeral (although I tried to encourage him to) because he wanted to be able to use some of his leave time to see me and he feels guilty about that and it was a difficult for him.

He also emphasized that he just felt like he couldn’t do anything without having to think about someone else. That he felt like he was pretending to be excited and okay and happy in the relationship. And he apologized for lying about how he felt (though omission) and that he knew this was unfair to me. Also that he could tell that I was getting frustrated with him and could tell he was pulling away.

I asked if this was a break up like a break or a break up like forever and he - from what I remember - leaned more to a break. He said he wanted to revisit and he could see himself with me. He said I can reach out if I need anything.

It kind of ended with him saying he would reach out if he needed anything or when he was ready but didn’t know if that would be in a day, a week, a month etc.

We had talked about and planned a whole future together and had plans to make sure we were living together and closing that distance soon. It feels like that’s gone now even thought he said he would want to revisit and seemed to allude to this being more like a break than forever.

I told him I would leave him alone and know that it’s the right thing to do and what he needs. But I’m terrified he’s never going to reach out again and/or he’s going to realize that he doesn’t want to revisit