u/Dear_Investment6064

What’s the logic behind this? I feel like no one has ever responded well to it. Genuinely curious why do people still do it?

So I just gotta be forreal. I’m only in this field/at this job because of extensive pressure from my parents to go back to school for something more stable (and Ive never forgiven myself for listening to them lmao). This causes me to have really intense depression/anxiety spirals bc I REALLY FEEL like I don’t belong.

I’ve been trying to leave this job for over a year now but ya know, the economy. It’s not that the job is bad or that I’m even bad at it (every performance review has been stellar, I’ve been given more responsibilities etc.) but to be incredibly honest the work flow/culture/everything about it is super incompatible with my ADHD and it takes ALOT out of me to stay focused. If I had some hybrid model/space to not feel like I have to perform busyness 24/7 or even just a workspace with a window I don’t think I’d be battling constant depressive spirals/executive dysfunction nearly as much.

The role is basically fundraising with an emphasis in grant writing and events. Im super good at schmoozing/playing that part at these fundraisers I organize because I’ve worked as an actor/within hospitality for most of my career.

But much of my actual day to day office work is very solitary. I stay on task by using headphones through out the day alternating between brown noise/lofi study focus music to pass the time and keep my mood up. The issue is people will randomly try to make small talk/socialize and idk maybe im a bitch but I literally cannot break my flow for even a second lately bc of how hard it is to stay on task for me. Additionally, idk I just don’t want to be friends with my coworkers? I live a semi-double life between still performing and working here and a lot of pieces I do are very NSFW so I’m legit resistant to building friendships with people. But idk I’m really worried it’s coming off as inconsiderate/standoffish but I just….don’t need to tell Becky from HR my favorite color? I don’t want to go to office drinks? Or do the secret Santa (which I got strong armed into organizing this year somehow 🤮)

I guess I’m just asking is this actually an issue? Idk I hear my friends talk about their office jobs in a totally different way. To me it’s literally the place I sit in a room sending emails to potential donors and writing grants all day?

TLDR: do you have to be friends with your colleagues actually?

So my parents and I at this phase basically will get like “happy Mother’s Day” texts and an accompanying gift. This is like the only real contact we have.

This has been what we’ve done for several years now. It’s just way too hard to aim for meaningful reconciliation right now for a variety of reasons. There’s just SO much resentment that being in contact with them is detrimental to my mental health.

Well, everyone but my grandma forgot my birthday. Like I got a gift from my grandma and no one else. Not my parents or my sister. Like they literally forgot. It’s not so much that I care but it is like??????

Do I need to continue getting them gifts for Xmas/birthdays/mother’s day? Is this the sign that I can just stop interacting altogether. I was holding on for their sake but I kinda feel like they aren’t thinking about me much at all and maybe I could just phase myself out.