u/DearMyFutureSelf

Greetings, friends!

I am both a Christian and a huge Alan Watts fan. Listening to Watts' insight about nature, psychology, and spirituality has greatly enriched the way I view the world. He convinced me that the ego is an illusion and that we are all one. This single realization has radically shaped how I see the world and the Gospel. I would say that the two most influential philosophers to my worldview, aside from Jesus Himself, are Alan Watts and Plato. Since Alan Watts was known for his discussion of Buddhism and other Eastern traditions, I thought I would write here about a thought I had earlier today. The story of Samson in Judges, which is among my favorite Bible stories sheerly for how ridiculous it is, reflects the tenets of Taoism very well! I will try to explain my arguments as briefly as possible, but I also want to make sure everyone not familiar with Samson's story can come to learn and appreciate it. My last disclaimer is that most Christians, Muslims, and Jews, myself included, interpret Samson's story as allegorical, not literal.

From the second he is born, Samson is a Nazirite. This is a type of Jewish monk who dedicates his life to God, agrees to never cut his hair, abstains from all wine, and pledges to never come into contact with a corpse. Already, you can see Taoist themes. Taoism is about nature, having faith that a proper balance (a yin-yang) exists in the world already, and that it is our job to simply adapt with the world. The different Nazirite vows are packed with Taoist symbolism! In my view, staying away from corpses is a pledge to avoid excessive pessimism, to stay away from both physical and spiritual carcasses. To forgo wine is a pledge to avoid glib optimism, to not hide from the problems in the world. Finally, a Nazirite's refusal to cut his hair is far from simply aesthetic. It is a statement of faith, that God (nature, the Tao) will take care of every hair on your head. You don't need to worry about a single one. The Nazirite is a Jewish Taoist - someone who balances hope and concern, who puts trust in their inner divinity.

At one point, Samson is walking with his parents to show them a woman he wants to marry. On the way there, they are confronted by a lion! Using the strength God gave him, Samson rips the lion's head in half and spares his family. Later on, Samson returns to where the lion died and sees that its corpse is now inhabited by a swarm of bees. The bees have created a layer of sweet honey, which Samson helps himself to. This story may seem gross and barbaric, but it is actually an example of Taoism in action, albeit an unhygienic one. When you have the trust in nature that Taoism prescribes, you can handle any situation - even an attack from a hungry, roaring lion. And not only can you handle the situation, you can make something sweet out of it, such as a gentle, warm layer of honey.

Later on, at his wedding, Samson presents his new in-laws with a riddle: "From the eater, something to eat; from the strong, something sweet." Samson had not told anyone about the lion, the subject of this riddle. As such, no one except Samson is prepared to answer it. After posing the riddle, Samson gives the family a week to answer it. If they do, they would receive thirty articles of clothing and thirty sheep from Samson. If they fail, Samson would receive thirty of each from them. Now, Samson is violating the Taoist's principles. He is no longer trusting nature. He is trying to assert control over nature by extorting "gifts" out of people. He is doing this by giving them riddles nobody knows how to answer, and that he is aware no one can answer. Throughout his lectures and writings, Watts warns us against trying to become the masters of reality. Clearly, Samson has no such reservations by this point.

Samson continues to slip from the Tao throughout the remainder of the story. For the sake of brevity, I will not tell the rest of the story here. I encourage you all to read it for yourselves, if for no other reason than it is extremely entertaining! That said, I will note that Samson continues to try and taunt nature. He never submits to the oneness around him. He maintains the ego and the illusion of control. For example, as tensions increase between Samson and (his now former) in-laws, Samson begins to have blood lust against the Philistines, the nation that family belongs to. At one point, he takes three hundred poor foxes and ties their tails together. There are 150 pairs of foxes with their tails wrapped around each other. Samson places burning twigs where the tails interweave and sends the foxes to burn down a Philistine city. To find out the rest, please read the story!

Maybe I am making a stretch with some of these interpretations. I really don't think I am, however. God never does things without a reason. The Nazirite vows are not just to make the Nazirite suffer or miss out on the world. I believe they symbolize the cornerstones of the Tao, even if Christians, Muslims, and Jews may refrain from using the phrase "Tao." The story of Samson, while not historical, shows the benefits of trusting in the Tao and the consequences of trying to dominate it. Peace be with you all!

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u/DearMyFutureSelf — 6 days ago

Hello again.

About a month ago, I posted to this subreddit lamenting my feelings of gender envy and dysphoria. In that post, I basically said that even though I wish I could be a woman, I was strongly considering not transitioning, mainly to avoid breaking my mom's heart. She is not accepting of trans people at all, and my fear was and continues to be that finding out her child is trans would destroy her. A month later, I can't really say I stand by the contents of that post anymore. As several commentors pointed out in the replies, it is unwise to let someone else's closed mindset manipulate how much or how little you express who you are. I'm 19 right now and not in the best position to begin living as a woman, but at least now, I have some hope of actually getting to do so one day.

Maybe some of you will find this silly, but I also considered what Jesus said in Matthew 5: "You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden... Let your light shine so that the whole world can see your good works and honor your Father in Heaven." I have wanted to be a girl as long as I can remember. Even as a little boy, I vividly remember wanting to wear girl's clothes and be treated as a daughter, not a son. This desire is a part of my very being. To live my whole life as a man would be a lie, to both myself and others. It would be a violation of this divine command to live as God created me and, in doing so, give the world the gifts I was made to dispense.

With this change in perspective, I already feel happier. I have gone back and forth throughout the past couple years, vacillating between "I will never transition and will stay closeted forever" and "the day where I can finally be myself fully and authentically is right around the corner!" Every time I go back to planning a transition, my brain automatically feels free and happy. Whenever I get stuck in the perpetual closet mentality, I start to withdraw from the world and look forward to my death, to my reunion with God. I'm still not entirely sure what I'm going to do, but now that I'm leaning in the direction of transitioning, rather than leaning away from it, my world already seems much less dark.

I would say this post was mainly written to let you folks know what I'm thinking now. There is, however, one extra note I want to add, something I simultaneously want advice on and just want to spit out into the digital ether for its own sake. One of the reasons I was, and still am a bit, hesitant about transitioning is the prospect of losing male privilege. The way our society treats women, both male and female, is beyond disgusting. I don't think I need to elaborate beyond that - all of us, especially the women among us, are well aware of this planet's crimes against anything and everything female. In the past month, as I have considered my options, I went on the Girl Survival Guide subreddit and read through the replies of a post from a trans woman asking for tips on how to begin female life. All the top comments mentioned ways to stay safe from stalkers and other predators. That fact alone was so disheartening and discouraging.

Men like myself have an obligation to do what we can to fight this misogynistic social structure. We have not been doing a good job. The result is a culture where women just cannot trust men at all, especially new and unfamiliar ones. I will go on Instagram and Reddit and see these posts from women expressing everything from nervousness to utter contempt for men. It makes me so, so depressed. I feel complacent and awful for being in this group of people who constantly wreak so much harm. I do what I can. I try to be an ally to women. And that's all I really can do. But my lone actions cannot change the social situation enough to where women can trust men. What makes things worse is I don't even want to be a man! When I was little, I wanted to be a girl. Now that I'm an adolescent/young adult, I want to be a woman. I never agreed to enter Earth a member of the male sex, and all it has caused me is gender dysphoria, envy, and a feeling of guilt for patriarchy.

Okay. That's about all I have to say. Advice, words of encouragement, words of warning, or any other insight is welcome. Have a nice day. I love you all.

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u/DearMyFutureSelf — 8 days ago

Hello, folks!

I recently discovered this amazing show (sadly fifteen years too late) and have been watching two to three episodes every single day since. In the past month or so, I have seen every episode of the first two seasons. This may just be my favorite show ever! The plots are always so creative, characters like Jackson and Traci always make me laugh, and I genuinely appreciate watching Miley and the other characters grow as people. It is extremely hard to narrow down just ten episodes as my favorite, but here is an attempt.

  1. "Smells Like Teen Sellout"

  2. "Torn Between Two Hannahs"

  3. "It's A Mannequin's World"

  4. "You Are So Sue-able to Me"

  5. "Bad Moose Rising"

  6. "The Idol Side of Me"

  7. "Don't Stop Till You Get the Phone"

  8. "I Want You to Go to Florida With Me"

  9. "Debt It Be"

  10. "Money for Nothing, Guilt for Free"

Feel free to ask for explanations of any pick! Once I finish the full show, I will write a second list of my favorite episodes overall.

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u/DearMyFutureSelf — 12 days ago