I’ve (M26) been dating my girlfriend (F24) for about 5 months. The relationship is really strong emotionally: we spend a lot of time together, she’s affectionate, says she loves me, wants to hang out often, and is generally very emotionally engaged.
However, over the past ~4 weeks her sexual desire has been noticeably declining. Early on we had a lot of sex and things felt very passionate, but recently:
- Her libido has been getting lower
- She seems less interested in making out
- She’s having more difficulty orgasming and says sensations feel “muted”
- For the first time, sex has started to hurt for her
- During sex, she sometimes seems unsure and will continue even after discomfort (e.g. saying she wants to “go a little bit”)
She has also previously said she was never initially very physically attracted to me (more personality-based attraction). She used to enjoy things like oral sex and orgasming from it, but that has changed recently too, and usually she just wants to skip foreplay and go straight to PIV.
Nothing obvious has changed in her life externally, and she still seems emotionally close and invested in the relationship. But sexually, things feel like they’re declining quite quickly, and I’m struggling to understand whether this is:
- a libido/sexual function issue,
- a compatibility issue,
- or a sign she’s losing sexual attraction to me.
I've talked to her about this and she said it's just something that happens to her sometimes, it's not me and she wants to have sex with me. But it feels like she is maybe forcing herself in order to keep the relationship going.
I’m unsure whether this level of change this early in a relationship is normal, and I’m trying to figure out what’s actually going on.