u/Dead_Mutt

self piercing beginner!! im very dumb nobody do what i did

just pierced a left snakebite (third times the charm, kept buying the wrong length jewellery) and i decided to pierce from the outside to make sure the placement was correct. the plan was to buy a gauge smaller than the needle to make it easier to put in from the inside, but clearly im a very terrible shopper because the jewellery is not only externally threaded but also the same gauge as the needle! i managed to get the jewellery in by some miracle, but obviously its backwards

so my question is just how long should i wait to flip it around? obviously the ball is scraping against my teeth a little though i dont mind some damage while i wait for it to heal, obviously i knew the risks.

honestly i dont really remember exactly how it started, but i developed the need to exhale forcefully whenever i smelled something gross, or even if a person i consider unclean is near me and i dont even smell them but i know their germs are inside me now.

its gotten to the point where exhaling sharply doesn't help the bad feeling go away, and now i unconsciously breathe extremely shallowly. if i smell something gross, i can't get it out of my nose for days. a few days ago i was in the car with my sister and her smell was literally invading my nostrils. i tried taking really shallow breaths and leaning out the window but it just kept invading my body. i nearly passed out from lack of oxygen. it sucks a lot, kind of feels like drowning sfter a certain point because obviously your body can only take shallow breaths for so long.

im currently stuck up at nearly 4am because my nose still feels so open and i have to keep exhaling sharply but it doesnt help. everything has been so hard lately. the constant headaches from shallow breathing and having to shake my head whenever i leave and enter a room, combined with not being able to bathe is making my life miserable. i honestly don't know what to do because i only feel better when im far away from my family. im about to start cbt but so far my weekly appointments with camhs are only making things worse so i'm guessing cbt isnt going to help much if its just more talking.

i know that realistically there isnt much advice anyone can give me unless you have a magic wand, i mostly just wanted to vent and maybe there's some tips people can give.