My daughter got her mission call and now her life is slowly going to hell . . .
I'm so heartbroken for my daughter. Backstory is pretty typical for the church: I married an abusive asshole and had way too many kids. When I started questioning the church, my marriage fell apart as well. My kids are about evenly divided between being overzealous like their dad or out of the church like me.
One of my TBM daughters turned 18 last year and was eagerly waiting to go on her mission. Then the age for women dropped and she immediately applied. She got her dream mission call and we were all overjoyed for her. Even though I would much rather have my kids stay home, I was still really happy for her.
Soon after she got the call she started having really bad panic attacks. She was really nervous about leaving her family and going so far away. I tried to be supportive but also told her that she should wait a little longer to go on her mission. I didn't expect her to listen and she didn't. She continued to prepare to go. I didn't blame her. She wanted that call so bad.
Without going into private details, she ended up having to delay the mission. I could see it coming. As I saw the choices she was making, I knew she was going to end up sabotaging herself and she did. She now has to wait several months to a year before she can go on her mission.
The most heartbreaking part is that she thought her dad and church leaders would be understanding but they aren't. She mentioned her brother, who was sent home early from his mission, and a few other young men she knows who were also disciplined. Her dad and their church leaders were far more understanding and lenient with them. But not her.
When her dad found out, he gave her a week to get her own phone plan and health insurance and told her to come get all her stuff that he has stored at his house. Her bishop is also being hard on her.
I'm so sad for her. The life she had planned has been upended and she's floundering. Even though she understands she's being treated unfairly, she's still so entrenched in the church that all I can do is sympathize. I can't explain how the church is sexist and that her worth doesn't depend on what these men think of her. I mean, I've tried to gently suggest it, but she just won't accept what I'm saying.
I really hate the church right now and what it is doing to my daughter. I'm holding my breath hoping that this will help her realize the church isn't true, but so far, she still believes in it as much as ever.
ETA: Wow, thanks for all the comments and awards! I really appreciate having you guys to vent to.