u/De-_-lilah

*I would like to clarify that I am not actively seeking ways to commit suicide.

Nothing seems to be worth the fight and inevitable disappointment. How can anyone find motivation to get up and participate in life where we all lose in the end anyway? It's dreadful waking up everyday in a body I hate with a mind I despise. I feel nothing most days due to medication and I haven't been "normal" in years so I only feel like a husk of the nice person I used to be. Life is like a movie but being mentally ill is like a movie scene stuck on repeat and the only way to move on is to just turn the movie off. I try to take control of myself only to end putting myself in situations where I would have been better off just giving up.