My girlfriend (25F) and I (24M) have been together for 3 years, and lately I’ve been questioning whether love is always enough for marriage.
I genuinely love this girl. Her values, her personality, the calm and emotional safety I feel with her… I’ve honestly never had that with anyone else. She feels like someone I could build a real life and family with.
The problem is more on the physical side, and I feel terrible even admitting it. She was never really my usual type physically. She’s very skinny, while I’ve always naturally been attracted to more curvy/voluptuous women (I’m also a pretty big guy myself, 192cm / 110kg). At the beginning I thought it wouldn’t matter long term because the emotional connection felt way more important.
But sexually, we’ve never fully clicked. Part of it is probably different expectations around intimacy, but I also struggle a lot with physical desire toward her. I rarely feel the urge to initiate, and over 3 years we’ve probably had sex less than 15 times.
What’s been scaring me recently is realizing that sometimes it almost feels like my desire completely shuts off around her, and I don’t really know what that means or what I’m supposed to do with that feeling.
The hardest part is that I truly love her and I would never want her to change her body or gain weight just to fit my preferences. I’d honestly hate myself if she felt “not enough” because of me.
I’m just confused and feeling guilty. Can a marriage realistically survive this kind of incompatibility if the emotional bond is really strong? Has anyone been through something similar without deeply hurting the person they loved?