Hi everyone, I need honest outside opinions because I feel really confused and I don’t know if I’m overthinking or just seeing a pattern.
I just got out of a 3-year on-and-off relationship. We’ve broken up multiple times before and always ended up reconnecting. There have been a lot of issues like jealousy, trust problems, and emotional ups and downs.
This time, he sent a long message saying:
our relationship is a “toxic loop”
trust is “shattered”
being with me gives him anxiety, especially about other men
he can’t keep trying to control the outcome
we both deserve something healthier
he wants to heal peacefully
he doesn’t hate me and wants to end things respectfully
So it sounded like a real breakup.
But his actions confuse me a lot:
He blocked me, then unblocked me just to tell me to block him instead
He kept begging: “please block me, I can’t stop checking your profile”
He said he doesn’t want to feel pain seeing my posts or imagining me with another guy
He said “no contact for a while” but also said he can’t say “forever”
He doesn’t want to end things with hate
He won’t throw away my things
His behavior before this:
When I blocked him before, he messaged me from another account
Then when I blocked that, he messaged me from a second account again
So I know he has multiple accounts
Recently, I also got a message from a random number claiming they got my number from a dating app (I don’t use any), and I suspect it could have been him or someone he knows trying to test me
What just happened now:
He was begging me multiple times to block him because he can’t stop checking me
I didn’t block him at first
I posted stories, and he didn’t view any of them for 2 days
Then I finally blocked him like he asked
Why I’m confused:
His words sound like:
👉 he’s done
👉 he wants peace
👉 he wants to heal
But his behavior feels like:
👉 he’s still emotional
👉 still jealous
👉 still checking / monitoring
👉 not fully letting go
My questions:
Does this sound like a final breakup, or just another cycle that might repeat?
Why would someone beg you to block them instead of just controlling themselves?
Is this real detachment, or someone who is still attached but overwhelmed?
Based on this kind of behavior, do people usually come back after some time?
Has anyone experienced something similar (multiple accounts, blocking/unblocking, testing behavior)?
Am I overthinking, or are these actually mixed signals?
I’d really appreciate honest opinions, even if they’re blunt. I just want to understand what this actually is from an outside perspective. 🙏