I’m so exhausted. I feel like screaming “I’m so exhausted” at the top of my lungs. Is it really supposed to be this hard? Or am I just failing? All that “stay strong” talk… it’s not working.
I feel completely alone raising this baby. I barely sleep at night. My baby won’t breastfeed, I pump so my milk doesn’t dry up, but that’s not working either. I feel guilty giving formula. And on top of that, there are constant “formula police” judging me.
There are crying fits, sometimes my baby refuses both the bottle and the breast. Two little eyes are looking at me, completely dependent on me.
And the other parent? He’s “earning money.” He showers every day, takes care of himself, wears the clothes my mom washes and irons for him, goes out, socializes, talks to other people. He comes home just to sleep and meet his basic needs. On his day off, all he cares about is leveling up in his game. Unless I ask, he does nothing related to the house. All he does is complain about work and finances.
Meanwhile, I sometimes can’t even brush my teeth. Forget self-care I have to beg someone just to hold the baby so I can go to the bathroom. And then I’m expected to give a report about how I took care of the baby—“did you do this, did you do that?”
How is this supposed to work? I have no idea what to do.