Before I say anything, I’ll let you know that I’m about to rant about all of this as an 19-year-old virgin myself.
The way some virgin women/women with lower body counts treat experienced women, is disgusting.
Now, that’s not to say experienced women don’t do the same. Of course, some do. But that’s not what I’m focusing on right now. Yes, men definitely do this on a much larger scale, but we also need to talk about the women who contribute to this shaming. I hate how women who enjoy sex end up catching hate from BOTH sides.
Women need to start being kinder to each other. Men have each other’s backs. When it comes to these discussions, we’ll stand up for men and defend them, but not for one another. So then who’s there to defend us? No one besides a few women who are then ganged up on for even daring to defend a “slut”.
Our societies deep-rooted religious ties and obsession with purity culture only make it worse. This is why so many women are afraid to talk about their kinks, fantasies, or even sex in general. Especially when these sexual acts consist of her receiving pleasure. And call this a reach if you want, but it’s also a reason why so many women feel ashamed after being raped or sexually assaulted. Not only were they violated, but now they’re also hearing that any woman who’s been “touched” is somehow “tainted”, unwanted by most men, and below other women who haven’t done anything sexual.
It’s different when a woman is using sex as a form of self-harm. It’s different when you’re genuinely trying to help her recognize her self-worth. But even then, so many of us speak with such venom and maliciousness behind our so-called “advice.” It’s no wonder these women get defensive. Y’all focus more on her body count than the type of men she’s sleeping with, and that’s the real issue.
So many of us are so vicious in the way we speak about women who have a body count over zero and it’s pathetic. Seriously.
Now the men who bash women for their body counts…is a whole other discussion in itself. But we cannot stick together if we’re constantly participating in the hatred of women who just like having sex.