Am I overreacting or are these early red flags?
So I (M31) have been seeing this girl (F34) for almost a month and I’m trying to figure out if I’m reading this situation correctly or if I’m just getting in my own head.
We’ve been out 6 times, each time has been incredible, we slept together on the first date something that she says is uncommon for her.
We just had a really strong weekend together. Went out, had a great time, she stayed the night and spent basically the whole next day with me. During that time she told me she “loves me as a person,” which already felt kind of fast to me.
The part that’s bothering me is she also admitted she’s still talking to other guys. She didn’t really go into detail, kind of brushed past it, but it was enough to make me pause. I told her pretty clearly that if we’re going to keep building something, I’m not okay with her entertaining other guys long-term. She agreed she’d cut them off soon (said by the time she gets back from a trip she’s about to go on).
She also said something like “I don’t care about them like I do you,” which sounds nice on the surface, but combined with the “love” comment this early… it kind of feels off to me. Like the words don’t match the behavior.
Now she’s going to be gone traveling for a few weeks, so I won’t see her, and I’m stuck wondering:
• Is she being genuine and just hasn’t fully transitioned into focusing on one person yet?
• Or is this someone who likes the attention/backup options and is just telling me what I want to hear?
For context, I don’t have an issue with casual dating early on, but the intensity of what she’s saying doesn’t seem to line up with still talking to multiple guys.
I’m trying not to come off controlling, but I also don’t want to ignore obvious red flags.
Am I overthinking this, or does this seem like something I should be cautious about?