Need some advice
Probably a longer post but I would appreciate some advice as I am so lost in my life and feel stuck. I'm a 21 year old male, used to have an addiction to corn (you know) for about 6 years which started during covid. I recently stopped and have been a month clean as of this post. With such, I let myself go a lot. I didn't usually eat a lot or exercise which led me to be 139lbs even though I am pretty tall at just under 6'2. I have also recently had the realization that I am pretty unattractive and got self conscience about it, but luckily most of it is just due to a lack of self care (skin care, shaving, exercising) and is something I can work on relatively easily. Unfortunately, I don't have any irl friends so I don't have anyone who could have told me to get my act together and that I look terrible, so I never even noticed until after I stopped watching corn.
I graduated with an associates degree in mathematics in 2024 and foolishly thought I could try to just get a job instead of continuing my education. I basically took an unwanted gap year looking for employment before I was able to land my current role as an executive assistant for a small real estate company. The job doesn't pay well even in Georgia at $16/hour last year and $17/ hour this year. I've done research on the position in my city and it generally pays almost double on average at $60k. Additionally, I'm being taken advantage by my employer because I'm marked as a 1099 worker, despite this being a full office position at one location with a set 10am-6pm schedule (with overtime as well since my boss comes to the office at like 3-5pm and then almost makes me stay until usually 7pm if not 8pm). Since its really a W-2 position, I can't write anything off on my taxes and I haven't purchased anything in the year I have worked that I could even deduct, since I have been trying to save all my money for a house. To put in perspective how bad it is, when I did my 2025 taxes, I grossed just under $20k for my 6 months of work, but I had to pay $3,400 in state and federal taxes with a huge bulk being self employment taxes and employer side taxes, which you can't even deduct from. I also lost out on about 2k in overtime 1.5x pay that an identical W-2 worker would get. Cherry on top is they also pay me late almost every single time. 18 out of 22 paychecks were paid the next week. Once I figured that out, I have been trying to find a new job where I could respect myself and actually build towards something, maybe at like $20 an hour with a W-2, but its just so hard even with experience now and every day I clock in, I feels like I am wasting my life and its so depressing knowing if I don't change I will always be a bottom of the barrel wage slave. What makes it even harder is I don't even any passion for any type of work, I just want to anything to make enough to live and start a family one day. The only positives financially for me are that I a have a fully paid off, reliable Corolla, no debt and better down payment than most. Unfortunately, it doesn't even really matter because I have been completely priced out of the area I grew up in. The cheapest house including surrounding cities starts at $450,000 and they still likely need repairs.
Like a lot of young people these days, I live with my parents while I am working on being able to afford a house. My parents are very good people, who let me stay without charge under the caveat that I save all of money and try to move out as soon as I can comfortably, which I have followed. I appreciate everything they do for me financially, but they are the polar opposite when it comes to emotional/mental support. They are a very traditional, men don't have feelings, type of parent so its really hard to talk to them about anything. They are also very controlling and I cant really do anything by myself or have any privacy at my house. Ever since I've gained the mental clarity in the last few weeks, I have been really motivated to self improve but my parents my biggest detractors. I bought 2 dumbbells to exercise at home as I am too self conscience to go to the gym yet, I bought basic skincare products (moisturizer, sunscreen, cleanser, & retinol), and I bought a razor to shave my patchy beard off. Despite me using my own money to pay for it all, they say its a waste of money and I'm causing problems for them. I even went to the library recently, both to try to cleanse from my phone and to get outside, starting with a very easy and relaxed location, and they still had an issue with it. Maybe I have been going a little hard on the self improvement lately, which to them would be out of nowhere since I can't talk to them about it, but they think I have been going crazy recently and I'm acting like I'm on drugs even though I have never even had alcohol in my life. Now today they mentioned kicking me out because I bought the beard razor without telling them first and I have no idea what to do. I can't afford to move out or even rent on the side of town where I work. I would have to go to the slums AND get a roommate just to make it by not to mention moving there would take my commute to 120miles/day total which is even worse with todays gas prices. Also they didn't allow me to get a credit card until earlier this year when I told them that I needed one and just got it. Even with it, I have no credit history so even though I have a potential down payment, no company will ever loan me for a house and any credit checks for an apartment would disqualify me as well. I also just know I am just a huge disappointment to them as it doesn't help either that my older brother makes $150k in computer science, has his own house and has a fiancé because he did everything right that I didn't and now here I am. Like they say, comparison is the thief of joy so I'm going to continue my skincare, working out at home, and shaving and trying to improve myself everyday. I don't think it is completely over for me yet but I feel like I'm getting near that point if I make any more poor decisions.