I’ve struggled with depression for a while now. It got worse in college. I had two huge mental breakdowns now. Pre parenthood and one post partum.
Moved close to family because I need my husband and kids to have a bette support system, but now I’m back home where my trauma originated.
Therapy doesn’t work. I’ve tried it now with 6 therapists since college on an off. Meds don’t really work.
New adhd diagnosis and meds don’t help.
I don’t have bipolar but do have premenstral dysphoric disorder. But now I feel like my world is crumbling all the time.
The way the world is right now gives me no hope for my children’s future. In fact I regularly feel guilt for bringing them into this world despite being the most beautiful blessings in my life. Because I can’t give up and need to provide I work a job that pays ok, moved up quickly, but still can’t afford to get a house.
My husband works an alternate schedule along with remote work during the day so he can raise our son but we never see each other besides the weekends.
I’m angry. I’m sad.
I’ve used my anger to drive my passion at work. But I’m so stressed now.
I’m disconnected. I can’t focus on the present and what’s in front of me.
Please don’t tell me to contact a hotline. I have in the past and the girl on the other line didn’t know why to say and just apologized.
I’m just in survival mode. Stuck here and don’t know what to do.