u/DaveMC12

I noticed my old therapist from 2016 is on Facebook. I wonder if I should send him a friend request. He was the first therapist I ever saw. I’d plucked him off the Internet without researching him because he was the closest therapist to my house.

Turns out, he practiced what’s called “positive psychotherapy.” I didn’t know what the hell that entailed, and I didn’t think anything of it. But I would learn pretty quickly.

I was probably saying something along the lines of “Dr. X, I’m exhausted all the time and have this fatigue and symptoms. I keep going from doctor to doctor to find out what’s wrong with me. I don’t know what to do.”

And he would turn everything I said into a question of what I could do to make it a more positive experience. Perhaps I could spend the afternoon making and playing with a sock puppet. Or color in an adult coloring book he recommended. Maybe I could view my going from doctor to doctor as an experience in local travel. Or I could write a poem about what I’d do if I weren’t exhausted and feeling sick.

I felt like I was talking to Mr. Rogers. This guy wasn’t helping, he was making me nuts. Once, while I was talking, his eyes closed for a good minute or two. Another time, he kept staring at the clock and yawning while I was talking to him.

Anyway, I think I might send him a friend request. Tell him I wrote a rap song about my wife.

I was texting with my friend Steve the other week. He suggested I order beef sticks. I told him, “That’s funny, I was just thinking about beef sticks the other week.” Then he said that Vermont Beef Sticks sells a package of one hundred for one hundred dollars if you order directly from their site.

I said, “That’s funny, because I found a package of twenty Vermont Beef Sticks at BJ’s for fifteen dollars. (My mother still has a BJ’s membership, so she ordered them for me.) Five times twenty is one hundred. Five times fifteen dollars a package equals seventy-five dollars. That’s twenty-five dollars in savings, Steve.

Tell me again why I should order from Vermont Beef Sticks directly (I didn’t say this to him)? He said it was just an idea, he didn’t plan to shop for me.

I was basically like, “Look, I get it, but there’s savings to be had. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention it. Maybe you wanna find someone with a BJ’s membership and buy your Vermont Beef Sticks from there instead.”