u/DangerousPie2780 — reddlx

I just ended a 9-year relationship this Monday night, so it’s only been a couple of days.

It was mostly long distance, but honestly never felt like one. Things had been rocky since January and we were fighting on and off, and then went into almost no contact for about 2-3 weeks.

This Monday, we spoke again about possibly getting back together. He said he was willing to start fresh, but also wanted to be honest with me. That’s when he told me that during the no contact phase, he started talking to another girl (12–13 years younger than him). According to him, he thought I was completely out of his life, was feeling depressed, and just wanted someone to talk to.

Apparently, she confessed she liked him, and he said he liked her too. He also shared everything about our breakup with her and said talking to her helped him stay functional at work.

Hearing that broke something in me, and along with everything else that had already been going wrong between us, I decided to end the relationship right there.

Since then, I haven’t responded to any of his calls or texts (since Tuesday), and I don’t plan to until I’m fully healed and out of this for good.

But right now, it feels unbearable.

This is my first real heartbreak. I feel like I physically can’t handle it. I can’t eat properly, I haven’t slept at all, I feel like I might pass out sometimes, I’m overthinking 24/7 and don't feel like getting out of my bed all day long.

I’m currently on a sabbatical from work to focus on studies, which is making it worse because I have too much time to think and no distraction.

He texted saying it’s hard for him too but I know he has someone to talk to. I don’t. And honestly, I don’t even want to. I tried speaking to another guy I know who likes me, and it made me so anxious that I stopped immediately.

I do have a supportive best friend, and my parents have told me I can talk to them anytime but this still feels like it’s crushing me.

I know healing will take time. I’m not expecting it to be instant.

But I just need some perspective from people who’ve been through something similar.. How long did it take you to start feeling okay again? What actually helped you get through the initial phase?

Right now, it genuinely feels like I’ll never get over this, and that scares me. It is undeniably the hardest time of my life! It hurts so bad and is so painful that I don't know how to continue feeling this.