Day 1 :First day for taking it seriously in managing my addiction
Before, I’ve tried to stop from porn. I failed unfortunately. I want to really lock in so I decided to write a post so people can also help me in the process. I hope that by sharing my journey on the community provide me with my support and also share my feelings to help out other people with similar problems. I would write down my experiences from my previous failures and see what I can learn from them.
Porn addiction is often not the reason but the RESULT. My porn addiction often comes from a lack of intimacy towards a love relationship. Back then, when I was having a good relationship with my ex girlfriend, I could stop the porn thing for a few weeks feeling it was nothing. But when arguments started to flood in our relationship, my old habits returned. I wont say my porn addiction is too detrimental, maybe 2 to 4 times a week, depending on my mood. Yet, gooning can sure be tiresome and I want to stop it. Having good relationship is indeed important to your porn addiction. Cherishing a community that you can share thoughts about your addiction is also important. It is difficult when you are alone but when there is the support from a community, everything becomes easier.
Go find a hobby or activity you truly liked. Find what you want and need in life. Porn addiction to me is just a cheap way to ease my desire towards an intimate relationship with others. Yet, sometimes I doubt myself in handling my own problems. It is not healthy to give all of my problems, including my porn addiction, to my (future) partner. They also have their own problem and they may not be able to handle your problem. So I started reading books and journaling, writing articles and essays to find out what I need. Reading and writing is very effective for me. I consume thoughts and understand more about the world. By writing, I am organising my thoughts and desire. I am sure that there is something more meaningful in life compared to sex and by reading and writing I am finding that purpose. It is ok to fail to find your purpose. A lot of people don’t know their purpose even at the moment death comes. As long as you are trying, you should be proud of yourself. The current purpose in life that I can think of is “learning and becoming a better version of yourself everyday”. The lust and money can be meaningless if you don’t know what you are doing with life. After finding a purpose, I’m sure that we would reply less to the pulse of excitement from pornography and focus more on life.
To be honest, I also have a similar problem with watching YouTube. Just like porn, it is often due to a lack of meaning. Some days, I would just sit down on my couch and watch 8 hours of YouTube.
I would say maintaining a healthy life style can also help you. GO to sleep at 1000 to 1100 pm. Go out for a jog or hit the gym two times a week. Have some more vegetables. These could help me handle my bad mood. The thoughts related to my addictions often come in when I am having a bad mood. A healthy life style keeps myself away from the bad moods.
I hope that you and me can get through this pain-in-the-ass war. I believe that you and me can win this. Good luck big man You can do this