I'm worried if I can't find a way to make a living, I'll be homeless in a year
For context I'm 17 and junior in high school, and I am likely going to have to repeat a year because I skipped all my classes this year, as I've been struggling a little with life. The past couple of years I've really struggled with finding a means to be alive because everything feels so deeply empty and meaningless. I experienced loss as a child, and among other things, I think my mental state might be an issue.
Anyway, it's not that college isn't an option, but I know going into adulthood I will be faced with significant financial issues immediately and college would be another huge financial burden. Regardless of whether I choose to pursue higher education, I'm really worried I won't be able to make a living and I'll end up homeless and with no autonomy over my own life. I would've liked to get a math degree, get a stable job, move somewhere I can enjoy nature and meet people. I know I'm not in a position to be dreaming right now, but my concern is that I'll be so caught up with keeping myself alive I'll never be able to do anything I'd like.
As for support from my family, I won't have any. I'll be alone the moment I turn 18, that's been made very clear to me. I got a job a few weeks ago at an ice cream shop so I can pay for my own food, clothes, and gym membership, as my mom refuses to provide those things. I can't stop thinking about how hard my adult life is going to be and I'm really worried I'll never be able to live a life where I can find stability or fulfillment.