Its another one of those stories. Context and circumstances are different but the punch line is the same. I have fallen for my best friend.

I M26 have fallen for my best freind.

Past

I have been trying to coupe up with it on my own for 4 weeks now but have made no progress and talking to Gemini doesn't help. I am at a stage of life where i cant talk about this to anyone near me. Neither my family nor freind. Out of pure respect to the friendship I have with her. "For the sake of privacy ill address her as "erza" (Fairy Tail)

So this all started in 2016. We met each other through mutual friends and quickly she was in our friend circle. At the time I had feelings for someone else, erza and I were great friends. I was very immature as any person at the age of 17 is. Erza and I were becoming great friends, talking a lot we hit it off. Crushing all the milestones of the journey of becoming freinds. So some of the people in our circle started talking, saying things like maybe they like each other. I am a person which hates such gossips and looked at my relationship with erza as great friends. So me being the immature person stopped and cut of the conversation quite a bit so that such rumors wouldn't spread. Didn't realize at the time how that will affect erza. Couple of months later erza met with a small accident while playing volleyball which caused a ligament injury. So all of us went to her home to see her, and then at the time of leaving i was the last one to leave and then I sensed some hesitation in erza when she spoke with me so i asked her. Then she dumped all the feelings she had after me abruptly cutting contact with her. She had lost too many friends like that and how much my behavior affected her. I realised then how wrong I was, so i made a sincere apology and gave her my ring, (which i didnt give to the person i liked even if she asked) as a symbol of our friendship and a promise that ill always be there with her.

Over the next 2 years i.e. 2017 and 2018 we went through our own journeys. I was in a relationship with the person i used to like she eventually was in one too. My relationship came to a tragic end in june 2019. Ill spare the details. But it was a very serious relationship. Took me 4 years to move on from.

So erza at the time was also in a relationship, although the guy she was with was never a great guy. We used to meet once in a week or two. This was around 2019 in one of our meets i confessed to her about my feeling for her. Those werent too strong but they were there. She politely accepted the fact i shared em verbally to her but it was nothing from her side. One day I get a call from erza, she is crying, called me over to her house to meet. I ran over to her place. We were on roof top she told me that her boyfriend didn't like me and erza had to either choose between her relationship or my friendship. It was a difficult choice for her. I told her its okay, choose whatever you heart wants. I understand your relationship means a lot. She cried and apologised and asked me to forgive her for choosing her relationship and end our friendship. It sank my heart hearing those words. But I smiled and told her to not worry at all cause friends always help out and i wont have any hard feelings. After the conversation I left. I was devastated loosing a freind like her. But soon after that relationship ended cause the guy was a little toxic and thankfully our friendship survived.

Context

~~She was prepping for her medical entrance exams during 2018 and 2019. During which face some setbacks during which i was there with her supporting and rooting for her success. I was my bachelors degree in mechanical engineering.~~

2019 she finally cracked her exams and relocated to a different city to begin her medical education journey. During these 4 years our friendship grew stronger. While i was mourning my breakup she had gotten in another relationship and this was a healthy relationship and was looking very good. But during the last year of her MBBS they had difficult times because erza wanted to pursue her speciality in the UK and her partner earlier agreed to was not willing to relocate. Even asked erza to not pursue her dream. So unfortunately erza had to end the relationship again. And this was a painful one for her. During which she never lost sight of her dreams and goals. She carried moving forward with her plans.

2 years ago she gave her first attempt for PLAB entrance exam. Which she failed in the first attempt. It was difficult for her to coupe up cause already she was going through a tough breakup and her exam attempt didnt go as planned. More over her ex also texted her stating she wont be able to clear and not to pursue it anydurther. He was such an ass of a person not only did he not support her in her dream but kicked her when she was down. I was always with her during this and kept pushing and motivating her to more forward. I believed in her when she didn't. Cause i have seen her grow over the years and shes genuinely one of the strongest persons I know.

So she gave her second attempt at PLAB and failed again. This was the lowest point in her life. At the evening the result came in I forced her to meet me. I took her some place where we could talk over. I let her speak her mind and motivated her to give another attempt. She was unwilling to hear it but i convinced her to book another date for attempt. Mind you every attempt is traveling to UK for one day of exam. But she was convinced. I even told her to used my international card for payment and that she can pay me back lated if she felt guilty taking money from her parents for the exam attempts. Told her ill even take interest consider it as a loan and not a favour. But you must give another attempt and i believe in you. You'll get it this time. So in the next few days ezra booked her date for the exam and did used my card for payment. Which she payed me back from her father's account in a week. But i was glad i could help her out.

So on 28/04/2025 she finally passed her exam. She was so over the top and i could see the fire in her eyes since she pulled through from her lowest point in her life. She even told not just me but everyone that no one believed in my as much as I did in her. She called me and gave me the news of her clearly the exam with flying colours. We met for some pizza and i was super happy to see such a close friend achieve her dreams and i was able to contribute a little. Super stoked about it but a small part of me was crying inside.

So during the last 12 months she had couple of interviews planned with multiple organization for fellowship. During which her first interview did go through quite the way she wanted and didn't get a job. All this time i was hoping for her to clear it and absolutely believed in her too but a very small selfish part of me wanted her to stay here and maybe things might turn out in my favour.

Couple months ago she gave another interview and 3 or so weeks ago she got a fellowship of 2 years in the department she wanted. Now shes a part of NHS. I was the first freind she told about this. The freind within me super existing and stoked for her. The lover withing me is struggling to coupe up with this.

So she finally flew to UK on 28th March 2026.

My thoughts and feelings

I distinctly remember the day I fell for her. Some years ago she showed me a photo of her holding one of her niece in her arms. Its such a simple photo yet in my eyes that was peak of beauty. I wanted to see that sight irl everyday in my home.

Now before she left i was planning on writing a letter with our journey till now and a small pep talk and motivation for her when shes alone in UK and a small gift as a symbolic gesture. But ultimately decided to scrap the letter cause i didnt want erza to get any wrong ideas or her to know how i feel cause she doesn't need that weight on her at this stage cause she already has so much to take care of. So i ended up giving her neck scarf inspiring from attack on titan. She hasnt watched AOT so she'll never get the reference and i wanted it that way for her its just a scarf but for my it symbolic of eren protecting mikasa. I dont want her to know that reference. She loved the scarf and promised me to take good care of it and use it everyday. I kept our last meeting as casual as it could be didnt let the cracks show although it was killing me inside. Erza didn't need a hard time from me. She needed a supporting friend.

My love for is quite different than what i felt earlier. There's just no lust involved. It comes from a place of affection, care, admiration of her high morals and strength. Its almost like how parents want to be there, to provide, to support and nurture their child to achieve their dreams. I kinda feel the same. But it hurts knowing it will never be reciprocating. No matter how perfect of a key i am and the lock she might be it will never unlock. Ill always just be a friend. The fact is ill always love her, if 10 years couldn't change my feelings for her i dont think they will change. Yes ill never cross my lines or boundaries cuase i am freind first.

A small part within me which is selfish and want to build a life with such a high value person will always be sad.

I am in tears, tired of heartbreaks. At the same time maintaining and growing by business is exhausting. I am burning the candle from both ends.

I am sorry for such a big post. If anyone has read till here please give me your thoughts.