u/D-nebulathatdied

I'm an INTP and since I don't socialize I don't have much friends but at the same time I wanna meet new people and see how they're so different from me.

For example, I've never met an ESFP so I don't know how they can be but since I'm a very curious type I'm eager to know how they eat. That's just an example I've also never met a proper INFP, ENFJ, most of the sensors.

Also specifically looking for INFJs because I feel like they're us but not us at the same time.

SOo, If anybody wanna talk about life, wants a new friends (extroverts I see you) or idk want an INTP friend hmu pls

Ever since I was a kid I had a very tough time fitting in like I was quite considered the *weird* one in every group. I had 0 friends growing though now i socialize more and realized people just...don't think.
They do what they're told, don't have opinions any likes or dislikes and nods everything authority says. Like it makes me so frustrated people don't really have their individuality. They don't think deeply, they don't know their likes or dislikes like how can you be like that? how can you have no interest and your only hobby can be reels? I'm not talking about everybody nor I'm saying I'm special but you get me.
Not saying having a hobby is a must but you should at least have curiosity to learn? think? ask question? It makes me so frustrated and lonely and angry sometimes.

Like what happened to our generation? What happened to introspective people? Do people not read anymore? Do they not try to find oneself? I don't remember the last time I had a deep conversation with someone about something. If I do want to start one they're usually like "I don't think that deep nor I have interest in doing so"

Honestly, its not them its about me since it makes me feel unrelatable with these people I feel so lonely. I guess there's nothing wrong anybody being interest-less but I crave to feel heard or talk to people sometimes about spaceships, astronomy and dive deep into philosophy or like in general. I crave to meet introspective people.

is this an INTP thing?

I'm 19f and some of my peers including me have a pretty toxic and abusive household and I see them thinking how if they study hard enough, they can gain freedom and will be able to leave their toxic place. I don't think nor feel like that. That's just not going to happen, they say they will leave you alone if you get good grades so that they can do the yapping thing to society but thats it. Whether you are good in academics or not they will continue to annoy you.

I also have a very bad relationship with academics due to how pressurized I was since I was a kid. SO my question is, can doing good in academics really give you freedom? How many of you gained it? How realistic is it in bangladeshi perspective?
Perhaps will give me some motivation to study too.

(Also I feel very down and suicidal rn, if anybody wanna hear my rant or can talk pls do reachout)