I cant work and I feel like a failure as a mom
So, 2 years ago, the same time I got unemployed bc the store I worked on closed, I got pregnant. ive been trying to go back to the workforce for the past year.
im 31 years old and the only jobs i got were in retail. When my daughter was 8 month old i got diagnosed with ppd. Last week I finally got a part time selling clothes at the mall. On my second day I had a massive panick attack and I quit on the spot. ive always had anxiety but … my God, just the tought of having to interact with humans and sell them stuff for a living made me want to crawl out of my skin and hiperventilate.
i feel riddled with guilt, shame and fear. my husband doesnt make enough to sustain our family in the long run. we have been using our savings but they are getting thinner by the day… and i just found out i cant work and do what i used to. my therapist suspects i have autism. not that does matter because ill never have any kind of support for being low needs/high functioning.
i just cant go back to the type of jobs ive done when I was younger… and i feel like this makes me the worst mother ever, like I dont love my daughter enough to be able to get over my mental ilness.
any advice… any parents having similar issues? what jobs would be good for someone in my position.? what would you do in my place? please i need some different points of view, I dont want to be stuck in this anymore, help. thank you