I fell in love with a couple
Note: I want to preface this by saying I’m posting this here because I tried posting it in a few of the polyamory and LGBT subs and i kept getting taken down or got a bunch of transphobic comments for no reason. My emotions feel very complicated right now and I don’t have anyone irl to talk to about this, that said, this is more about poly feelings than me being a trans man, so let me know if this isn’t the right place to post this and I’ll take it down.
I never thought about being in a poly relationship before, it just sounded too complicated, that was, until they came into my life. I moved in with some folks for college, and really bonded with my roommate, we became best friends. Later, I found out she had a boyfriend who lives in another state, and to be honest, I wasn’t thrilled to meet him. Any time previously I met a bi girl dating a straight man it almost never bodes well, and having just come out of a tumultuous long distance relationship myself, I was expecting the worst. They also had planned a lot of fun activities for us to do while he was here, and I was not looking forward to being a thirdwheel, as I often am. How wrong I was!
He is the sweetest man I have truly ever met. It took a little bit of getting used to, as I am skittish around new people, especially cis men, but he wasn’t intimidating, he was kind and easy to talk to. I value his friendship as much as my roommate’s now, and I look forward to every time he visits. I never feel like I’m less important when I hang out with them, and I care about them both so dearly. She is open minded, funny, and the most determined person I have ever met, I love how eccentric she is and I admire her deeply. He is smart, kind, and so empathetic. We share a lot of the same interests, he makes me laugh, and I am constantly amazed by how caring he is. They have done a lot for me, and I for them, and I do not think I will ever regret it.
That said, I can never tell them my feelings. I think she sees me more as a brother, and he is straight. I wouldn’t dare do anything to get between them or possibly damage our friendship. I care too much about keeping them in my life to risk them thinking I am creepy or feeling uncomfortable around me. I have come to terms with it, and though it is a little sad, I am ok with it. I will continue to be the best friend I can to them, and I will continue my own search for someone (or someones) who will feel the same way for me one day.