u/Cute_Ostrich_4175

The details aren't important, because it happened, I know it happened . The thing is, at the age of 50 I've finally decided to talk about it. My abuser is no longer alive so I'm alone in all of this. My therapist asks me how I feel and I give answers I think are correct but I just don't know. There are days I feel okay and then there are days that if there was a ledge close to me I'd probably jump. Part of me is proud of myself for telling, but another part regrets it, not realizing it would be so difficult. I wish this on nobody.

I had one job given to me when I was 7 years old " don't ever tell." I was doing so well for 40 years, until last year, I failed, I told my secret of what happened. I'm so regretting it. I didn't know attempting to heal would be so difficult. Part of me says this will get better, but a bigger part says whats the point, you shouldn't have told. Does it get better?