Me and my partner had been planning a trip to visit some of my friends at a house party they were organising for just over a month now.
For context, I have been unemployed since February but able to get by through savings etc. I start a new job in a week. My partner has been self employed for some time, but recently landed a new job & has been paid.
A few days before we were meant to travel to my friends city, my partner asked me if I could pay for the whole trip (Airbnb , food , travel expenses), and they pay me back towards the end of next month. I’ve never really had a problem with covering costs & even though I needed the money for travel to work, I agreed.
Again, for context my partner was expecting pay at the end of the week (before our trip - coming to around $800), and I had around $300.
My partner ended up being paid more than expected, so rescinded the request for me to cover the trip.
Later on through the day, I asked my partner if they would cover costs of food and travel until I got paid (around $70), and this is where I got upset. My partner hesitated and questioned why I would need that, then started to raise their voice and got a bit defensive over the situation. I retracted my question and told them to leave it, where they followed it with “if you can’t afford it you shouldn’t go”, which I found a little ironic considering they had asked me to cover the whole cost beforehand.
Coming from a financially strained background, I feel a little awkward around money and have issues asking anyone, including my parents for money they may even owe me. My partner knows about this, as we have gone into detail about this many times, however still acted defensively and weird around the subject. This has made me see them a little differently also, and I haven’t been able to shake it since.
Just to add, I know I’m not entitled to anyone’s money, especially my partner’s regardless of our relationship.
AITA? I’d appreciate any advice on how to move forward with this. We have spoken this through, however I feel strongly that the way they went about it was a bit unfair and I can’t seem to come to peace with it on my own.