Hey all,
I'm at a loss at what to do for my mom for mother's Day. I understand the purpose of it and the ideology that we celebrate our mothers and thank them for all they've done.
I've been semi-estranged from my mom since 2024, after some difficult confrontations regarding generational trauma, emotional abuse, religious abuse, emotional neglect, severe judgement, taking accountability for her actions that caused me great harm - even now as a 30 year old. Between how I view myself, marriage, and everything that she ever shamed, judged and ridiculed. She gave me a well worded apology a few weeks after, but knowing my mother she will never truly change, and she's briefly shown me as such since then. The love for her is there, but I can't help but cringe at the thought of celebrating her. I don't believe that I'll ever have a repaired relationship with her, since I'm no longer a Christian.
Every year, my sister and I typically get her a couple of hanging flower baskets, as she loves them and always asks for them. They're upwards of $30, which may not seem like much but finances are tight, and the flowers don't last long. Last year I gave her a gift via UNICEF, helping a young mother in a foreign country, something I thought she'd love since she's a strong evangelical, although it was not done through a Christian organization. Hers and my sisters responses were underwhelming, and I can't help but think they considered it a dig at her.
Is it still necessary to get a mother's Day gift at 30 years old, when finances are tight and the relationship is weak? Regardless of what I do, there will be guilt or feeling that I'm unfair to myself. I'm not sure what to do.
Thank you all for taking the time to listen.