Daydreaming?
I've been having these...dreams. Not dreams exactly, but I'm awake and I can't control the 'movie' in my head. I have no one to tell- so I'm here.
Its my birthday party- but its not really for me. I'm in a dress that highlights everything I hate about myself. The party is in a garden- there is a faint distant laughter of guests, but those guests are not for me. My twin sister is flocked by people, and the banner reads her name only, as it didn't have space for mine.
I try to talk to people around me; but they can't hear me; I'm invisible.
I watch from the distance, the back of the crowd, (because I think my parents forgot about me?) as my sister cuts our cake, but again, it's not really ours; my favourite flavor in the world is chocolate, and the cake is vanilla.
I slip away from the laughter, and climb up the stairs. The wind whipping me in the face is not cooling; a signal that maybe I'm not here. As my feet leave the ground and the road below stretches out its arms, I get a faint glimpse of my childhood- where as I grow older and older, the colours slowly fade away. The scene goes dark.
The next scene is the top shot of a graveyard in the morning. No one has come for my funeral; only a priest and his assistant. they say no one's coming- they have waited long enough. They walk away, with the camera still on the graveyard. The scene slowly fades away. The background song is What was i made for by Billie Eilish, and the scenes follow the tempo of the music. the stairs scene is 'i dont know how to feel, but someday i might, someday i might-music' as I jump down. All laughter and chatter of the guests is distant, like an old memory, an echo.
I don't think this is normal. It's constantly in my thoughts. I had no one to tell, so I came here. Please, tell my how to fix this.