u/Current_Mammoth8170

I’m new to therapy and need help understanding what’s supposed to be happening in situations like mine to determine if our Dr isn’t a right match or if Im missing sumthin.

long story short my sister and I have been in therapy. She’s been thru a lot.

I let her move into my house as she got back on her feet cuz we previously had a good relationship. Over the last years she’s morphed into an asshole lol can’t take accountability, is starting to not follow the rules of the house, is entitled and ungrateful, dries y think she needs to get a job…. I asked her to move out and she actually said that I should move out if I have a problems cuz she’s good. Lol

She blames a lot of her issues on your parents and childhood.

All of the issues I’ve had w my parents have been resolved and I’ve had a pretty easy life so far. We are in our 40s lol we have to take responsibility. I’ve worked to form healthy relationships, I’m ok w being uncomfortable, i don’t really big stress or have anxiety. I would never treat anyone the way she treats me.

We started therapy in hopes it would get her to at least start talkin to a professional to help her.

But somehow the sessions always end up with the therapy trying to get me to understand my sister. I do understand her struggles but also think she’s turned into a self centered jerk.

I worked on myself outside of therapy and am not perfect but understand how good relationships work.

I’ve had no catastrophes in my life but that’s being used against me during the sessions. We are talking about childhood stuff as if I’m the one doing the harmful things lol I’ve tried to explain so many times I’m just trying to see if there’s a way we can teach this women reciprocity and how to properly repair.

I’m trying to to have to evict my sister but we aren’t making meaningful progress after 1.5 months.

I need insights from Emotional intelligent people…. I’m not sure what’s goin on here….

Here’s a clear, balanced way to present your situation:

I’ve been living with my sister for about a year after she went through a divorce. When she moved in, we had a clear understanding that she would respect my space and follow certain expectations in the house. I didn’t set super strict boundaries at the time because I trusted her and wanted to support her during a hard period.

Over time, things have shifted a lot. The original expectations we agreed on aren’t really being followed anymore, and when I try to bring that up, the conversation tends to get turned back on me. I’m told I’m misinterpreting things, being judgmental, or that my feelings are coming from my own issues. She’s also gotten into spirituality and often says things like I should “change my perception” or that emotions are an illusion, which makes it hard to feel heard when I’m trying to talk about how her behavior affects me. He told me to quantum leap to another reality where my sister cares about me the way I want her too… idk what that means lol
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We’ve been doing family therapy, but I still feel stuck. The focus often shifts to my interpretation of events rather than the overall pattern and impact on me. I understand that she’s changed and that going through a divorce can affect someone, and I’m not expecting her to be the same person she was before. But it feels like the terms of our living situation changed in a way that benefits her, without being acknowledged or renegotiated, and I’m left dealing with the impact.

At this point, I feel drained and unsure what to do. If this were anyone else, I don’t think I would tolerate this dynamic, but because she’s my sister, I’ve stayed and tried to work through it. I’m trying to figure out if I’m missing something or if this is just a situation where I need to set firmer boundaries or change the living arrangement.

I’m not sure why she won’t just apologize so we can move forward. She just became an asshole? Or am I missing something. I don’t know a lot about therapy talk and spiritual stuff so I don’t gave the vocab but I know something feels way off. Like she’s a teenager or something

Either way she’s now refusing to leave my home so I’m trying to figure it out.