u/Curlyfry14587

My boyfriend and I are long distance so we don’t have intercourse very frequently but every time we have I’ve experienced a perineal tear. I’ve been to a pelvic floor therapist and have been prescribed dilators and a testosterone/estrogen cream, I thought i was making progress but I just tore while using a dilator size that i’ve been using. I feel like im back to square one. My boyfriend is very understanding but i feel like im failing as a girlfriend and like something is wrong with me, i dont know what to do. Im scared for when i go down to see him at the end of May that ill tear again and itll ruin the trip. Is their anything else I can do?