Okay be easy on me as I genuinely do have issues deciding if im being a doormat or not in relationships.
My ( 40F ) boyfriend ( 50M ) have been dating for 3 months. We were work colleagues for 2 years before dating. This man is amazing, sweet, treats me like a princess, and traditional in that he is looking for marriage and dates intentionally.
Some background info: he divorced 20 years ago after his wife walked out on him and their son. He stayed single for 20 years but had this female best friend that we will call (Pam). They have never been physical but they have travelled together, she has watched his son for him growing up, they lead a volunteer organization together, and they buy and sell rental properties together. She is close to his family and is extremely religious.
All of this didnt really bother me as she is VERY unattractive and is still a virgin due to religious beliefs. She has never married and doesnt have kids.
Anyways my boyfriend's dad had a seizure a couple weeks ago and he rushed out the door to the hospital (4 hours away). I didnt hear from him really for 24 hours because he was dealing with a family emergency. He called me the next day and told me EVERYTHING about the hospital visit. He talked to be about it 4 more times after that.
Well fast forward 2 weeks and im at an event where Pam (his best friend) is at... she mentions how her and my boyfriend were 4 hours away 2 weeks ago and it dawns on me that he took her down there with him. There wouldnt have been another way for her to have found out other than he called her and told her.
I was shocked that he didnt mention that and when I asked him about it he said he didnt think about her being there because shes always been there and is like family.
I dont know how to percieve this? Anyone have experience with a scenerio like this or have advice? Im doubting everything now.