Moving in with no partners allowed in the space.
Hi,
This is my first time in this subreddit. I'm only here because I've faced a rather unique situation with my roommate, who is also a previous sexual partner of mine.
He's helped me move in, trying to get on my own feet from being out of my parents' house. One of the rules he implemented was not to bring partners into the space.
I thought it was pretty odd at first because I have a separate room from him. And I didn't think any of my partners would be meeting him, so I thought it was odd.
He kept mentioning disrespecting each other, but I was so confused. I don't feel disrespected when my friends hang with their friends instead of me. I don't feel disrespected when he talks about his wife or his kink partners and his hookups.
I'm not fully comprehending where the disrespect is coming from, especially since I prefaced having them over during times when he would NOT be around. So this just feels odd.
He kept asking me if I felt like this was a fair assessment, I just sorta took it. There's not much I can do to refute it. He pays more in the rent than I. I'm just grateful to have a space.
He also made a weird comment about my partners being not the best.
Which was so weird to say
And I've been so irritated this whole while with that comment. I feel like he has forgotten that at some point that was him as well. He was also not perfect and agitated me in some way, to the point where I wanted to take a break for an entire year and explore other dynamics.
I'm kinda burnt out of this dynamic. I really don't want to have sex with him anymore.
There's a bias he holds towards my partners. Which made him make that comment, and I really hate that.
I have hookups. They're not amazing spectacular 10/10 people that I take 2-3months to vet. I just ensure they are sexually responsible.' Stay on top of my meds and get regularly tested.
I'm not trying to find the love of my life. I just want to satisfy the flesh, conviently, easily, and safely in a space where I can safely say no without fear of something happening.
These are the things I have to live with being a Fem and AFAB.
I feel like I would have understood the terms of his reasoning if it was on the basis of something more poly adjacent like "I dont want to create jealousy with potentially exposing one partner to others"
Like something along those lines, not followed up with a "your partners are questionable" the fuck does that mean?
It's so degrading...
Why do my partners get judged, and yours get amnesty.
I've met a plethora of people who were originally pretty great and have turned for the worse. Those people are no longer in my life and yet I'm judged by my faults and not where I am now.
I just want to be left alone.