(tw: cancer, death)
I've never lost a loved one or seen someone die before a couple days ago
my mom was going through end stage lung cancer, so we knew it was coming. Wednesday I got the call that things were bad and rushed home as quick as I could (3 hour drive). she had been unconscious all day, breathing hard when I got there but completely unresponsive. the last thing she said earlier (they told me) was she needed me there. they told me to sit and talk to her even if she wasn't awake and I did, just rambling, and within 10 minutes she was gone.
I never thought I wouldnt get to have "one last" conversation with her. i feel like I failed her. I didnt even say I love you, I thought she'd wake up. I should have been there sooner, it was the last thing she asked for and she didnt even know I was there. her mother's day gift and handmade card i poured my heart into is still in my car and she never got to see it
my 3rd plate of junk food from a grocery delivery run today
EDIT: wow... i wrote this to vent and then took a sad nap and i am absolutely stunned by the amount of comments from everyone. I definitely had another cry reading through them, but a much more cathartic one haha. thank you all so, so much for sharing experiences and kind words, I'm going to take all of it to heart and just take it one day at a time ❤️