Ang hirap nang walang kaibigan no? I'm now in my mid 30s. I'm a home buddy and a workaholic. I'm also a bread winner who always limits her spending kase lagi kong inuuna needs ng family ko. I have had no problem with this setup till I get burned out lately and naghanap ako ng mapag veventoutan. I realized wala pala.
I have my boyfriend of 3 yrs pero lately he's been busy going to the gym and bike rides to the point na yun na lagi nya nilulook forward every weekend. He also got his solid friends since childhood na ka subdivision lang nya so pwede sila magkita anytime. While me, all my close friends already migrated abroad. Hindi ko alam anong meron sakin, pero literal lahat sila nasa abroad na, ako na nalang natira here. We're still friends but I knew it would never be the same anymore. They can come home for vacation, catch up a bit, pero hindi na katulad ng dati na pwede ko sila makita anytime.
Going back to feeling burned out, I'm not really the type to hang out outside pag stressed ako or may problem. I'd rather sleep on it. Pero lately, I've been wanting someone to talk to talaga. I'm a night owl, so my mind is the most active from 12am to 5am. Daming thoughts na pumapasok sa utak ko. Gusto ko ng kausap. Kahit ano, anything under the sun. As long as it keeps my mind stimulated. Told my bf about this. He tried to stay up late naman para makipag kwentuhan pero dahil hindi sya sanay, walang kwenta din mga topic namin and ako lang nagddrive ng conversation kasi antok na din sya so pinapatulog ko na lang sya.
I also want a girl friend. Yung someone na aayain ko ng "Tara, kape!". Or "tara, samgyup tayo!" Someone na pag inaya ko, hindi ako sasagutin ng "libre mo?". Gusto ko ng one-call away girl best friend. Yung pwede kong kausap pag may prob kami ni bf, mga girly stuff and all. I miss my friends. I miss having a real close friend.
Nakakalungkot pala tumanda na wala kang kaibigan. Akala ko before I'm better off alone, ang hirap pala. My bf is supposed to be my best friend too pero walang kasiguraduhan ang relasyon namin and I can't tell him everything in my mind as a woman.