Hi everyone,
I’m looking for a little support and perspective from those who have been through the "bridge of incidents" when the stakes feel high.
I’ve been practicing the Law and staying in the wish fulfilled regarding a reconciliation with my boyfriend. Over the last few weeks, I’ve seen some incredible, undeniable signs—the kind of machine-logic synchronicity that you just can't ignore. I’ve also moved through several purges and maintained my "knowing" relatively easily.
But right now, I’m hitting the silence, and I’ll be honest: Silence is the toughest purge.
My 35th birthday is coming up on May 10th. This year, it falls on Mother’s Day, which is incredibly significant because it’s my first Mother’s Day without my mother. I spent every day of my own grieving process loving him and being there for him, so the old "human" part of my brain is screaming that he should be there for me now.
I’ve reached out recently to clear the air and provide a "safe haven," but I haven't received a response yet.
The struggle: Part of me wants to villainize him. It’s so much easier to get angry and say, "How could someone be so heartless?" than it is to stay in the state of being cherished and honored. I’m not seeking external validation from a place of lack or desperation—I truly trust my assumptions—but I’m finding that my old conditioning and fear of "being failed" are trying to shout louder than my knowing.
I know he adores me. I know he’s relieved I reached out and that he’s currently formulating a response that is better than I can even imagine. But being human, that "what if" fear about the silence on my birthday/Mother's Day is creeping in.
Has anyone else dealt with this "final boss" level of silence right before the flip? How do you keep the "villain" story from taking over when you know, deep down, you are the Prize?
Sending love to everyone else navigating their own bridges right now.