i have to go to bed i have a final tomorrow but all i see when i close my eyes is him on top of me just begging me to have sex as i said no then him just doing it anyways and pinning me down and kissing me so i couldn’t talk sorry might be tmi gonna try to go to bed now
hi i’ve never made an update post before so let me know if i’m doing this right. in my original post i was trying to figure out if i was sa’d and helped me to understand that i was. in that post i mainly focused on my sa, but there was a lot more that happened that night i didn’t really talk about. basically, two fridays ago i (18f) went out with a group of my friends, got into an argument with one of them, and it culminated in them leaving the bar and 2 of them blocking me. when i was crying about this outside, i met the guy who sa’d me (the rest is in my original post which i’ll link below). i was only on good terms with one of them after that who i’ll call F, and the next day when i went to talk to him about my side i ended up crying and telling him about my sa. he had promised to keep it a secret, but this past friday i was talking to the other guys at the bar to figure out both sides of the argument when one of them let it slip that he knew. i asked F about it the next day and he confirmed that he told his best friend E but that he only meant it in my best interest, and i guess E then told everyone (it’s a group of 5-7 guys). i’ve now unadded all of them except the one i was originally fighting with, who i’m now okay with. the thing is, i can’t stop thinking about how all of them know and how it must’ve changed their view of me, because apparently they were all talking about it and how they felt bad (even though no-one reached out). i keep seeing them around campus and neither of us say anything, but im just feeling very hurt and betrayed and that i can’t talk to anyone about it, because the one person i told broke my trust and told everyone. i know my other friends won’t be good to talk to about it, i love them but we talk about more surface level things like guys and classes and going out, so im just feeling very alone right now. i don’t really know what im hoping to achieve with this post, just needed to get this out there and write it all out. i’ll link my original post below